Jake mentions the title "Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?"
Charlie: Jake, it takes more than sex to make a man happy. You also need money.
Alan: You know why I was being audited? Not because I have unsubstantiated deductions, which I have. Not because I take the occasional cash payment from a client and forget to report it, which I do. It was because no one at the IRS could believe I was paying as much alimony as I claimed. It took me three hours to convince them that, yes, I am that big a shmuck.
Charlie: You like cold pizza, right?
Jake: Sure. (Charlie throws the pizza to Jake) This is frozen.
Charlie: Yeah. If you sit on it, it'll thaw by lunch.
Jake: Can I have some privacy, please?
Charlie: For what? You're eleven.
Jake: That's close to puberty.
Charlie: (Charlie walks into Jake's room) Get dressed, buddy, I'm taking you to school.
Jake: I can't. I'm sick.
Charlie: Yeah, well, bite me.
Charlie: Don't screw with me, shorty. I only got, like, nine hours of sleep last night.
Alan: (walks into Charlie's room) Let's go, sleepyhead. Rise and shine, up and at 'em.
Charlie: Get out of my room, or I'll kill you with my bare hands.
Jake: (regarding Alan leaving Jake out in the rain) I can't believe you forgot me.
Alan: I said I'm sorry.
Jake: You forgot me.
Alan: I know, and I feel terrible.
Jake: How many kids you got?
Berta: Show of hands—who spent their day pre-soaking the shorts of a kid who leaves more skid marks than a getaway car? (Berta raises her hand) That's what I thought. Now, if you ladies will excuse me. I have three buses to catch. (Berta leaves the house)
Charlie: I bet she catches them by hand.
Jake: (on Alan giving him an artichoke for part of his lunch) An artichoke?
Charlie: Maybe you can trade it for something good.
Jake: With who? One of the slow kids?
Charlie: Give it a shot. Tell him it's a puppy.
Alan: What's taking you so long?
Jake: I can't find my other shoe.
Alan: So put on a different pair.
Jake: But this one's on already.
Alan: Come on, Jake. It's time to get up for school.
Jake: I can't go to school, I'm sick.
Alan: What's wrong?
Jake: I think I have acid reflex disease.
Alan: Really? Acid reflex disease? Where does it hurt?
Jake: Um... my head?
Alan: Nice try.
Alan: Um, Judith's going to Hawaii for a week. So Jake's staying here.
Charlie: I'm shocked!
Jake: I like it better when Dad takes me to school.
Charlie: (sarcastically) Oh, gee, you're not having a good time? 'Cause I'm farting rainbows over here!
Jake: First my dad forgets about me, and then he sticks me with you!
Charlie: All right, listen. Your dad works like a dog to make sure you have everything you need, and if he's not there for you sometimes, it's because he's trying to stay out of federal prison.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I forgot. Why are you here in the middle of the week?
Jake: My mom had to take a vacation.
Charlie: From what?
The German episode title is "Der vergessene Sohn", meaning "The Forgotten Son". The French title is "Qui aime bien, oublie bien", meaning "Who Loves Well, Forgets Well". The Italian title is "Che giornata infernale", meaning "That Hellish Day". The Spanish title is "¿Puedes Comer Carne Humana con Dientes de Madera?", an exact translation.
Bruce Peters, Kathy Oldham, Bob La Masney, and Charlie McDaniel won an Emmy in the Outstanding Multi-Camera Sound Mixing For A Series Or Special category for their work on this episode.
Marin Hinkle appears, but has no lines.
User Score: 715
User Score: 4274
User Score: 468
User Score: 617
User Score: 459
User Score: 307
User Score: 143
User Score: 89
User Score: 85
User Score: 78
User Score: 73
User Score: 72
User Score: 66
User Score: 63
User Score: 41
User Score: 40
User Score: 36
User Score: 36
User Score: 35
User Score: 34