Two and a Half Men

Season 1 Episode 3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 06, 2003 on CBS
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Alan fears he is losing his son and goes drinking with Charlie.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • "If you've got bugs, If you've got ants...."

    Jake and Alan spend the day at Disneyland and Jake gets sick. Jake decides he wants to go to his mother's house so she can care for him. Alan becomes upset as he realizes he's losing his wife and begins to fear that he is losing his son. Charlie suggests that they go to the bar and get a drink and Alan agrees to go. After spending hours at the bar and begin very intoxicated the boys get a cab to go home. At some point on their way home they decide to go to their mother's home. They attempt to explain to their mother their thoughts and feelings about her. But due to their inebriation and her personality they fail to get their point across to her.

    -That's the episode recap for those of you who don't know. But seriously, this episode is a crack up! Jake gets sick because of another ear infection while soon, Charlie and Alan get drunk at the pub and start harassing their cab driver home. All I keep remembering that was so funny was this: "If you got bugs...If you've got ants, If you got bugs, ants and flies that crawl..." lol, seriously, I could not stop laughing over this episode. A drunken Alan made the Taxi driver stop at Judiths but only to find Alan run back, telling Charlie that Judith chased him out of the house with a golf club. The funniest part was when the two brothers stopped at their mothers house ready to confront her over their lives but decided to run for it when she opened her front door! Overall, simply hilarious!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (8)

    • Alan: We can't go out tonight. We're getting up early to go to Disneyland.
      Charlie: We?
      Alan: Yeah. I thought maybe you'd want to come with us.
      Charlie: Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house, why would I drive 50 miles to see their kingdom?

    • Evelyn: Too late, I'm not speaking to you.
      Charlie: Alright.
      Evelyn: Would you like to know why?
      Charlie: No, I trust your judgment.

    • Jake: Uncle Charlie hasn't met Porky yet!
      Charlie: I don't suppose that's a Rubenesque nineteen-year-old girl?
      Alan: Porky's his pet guinea pig.
      Charlie: You're bringing vermin into my house?

    • Jake: I want to go home.
      Alan: Well, you are home.
      Jake: I know, but the real one, with Mom.
      Alan: (long pause) Oh. Okay, I understand that. When a guy's feeling sick, he needs his mom. Right, Charlie?
      Charlie: Well....I may not be the one to ask.

    • Alan: I don't even know how my wife is going to be a lesbian. She hates oral sex—hates it.

    • Charlie: (to the driver) Go east on Sunset until you reach the gates of hell!

    • Charlie: (to Alan) First of all, that little boy loves you. And second of all, just cause your wife decides she doesn't want to sleep with men, it doesn't make you a bad husband, though I wouldn't brag about it.

    • Charlie: (singing) If your home is bug infested
      filled with spiders flies or gnats
      all our sprays are safety tested
      we kill vermin not your cat.

  • NOTES (1)

    • The German episode title is "War das Beethoven?", meaning "Was that Beethoven?". The French title is "Porky est mort", meaning "Porky's Dead". The Italian title is "Il taxi e le sue confessioni", meaning "The Taxi and Its Confessions". The Spanish title is "Gire a la izquierda en Sunset y siga hasta ver las puertas del infierno", meaning "Turn Left on Sunset and Go Until You See the Gates of Hell".