Everlyn said the title I Merely Slept With a Commie in this episode.
(Jake is looking at a display case of fancy watches)
Jake: Yo, check out the bling!
Charlie: Jake, I'm not going to tell you again. You're a pasty, white kid. Start acting like one.
Alan: We could tell her the truth: that she's just as toxic as her late friend and that that's the way she's going to be remembered.
Charlie: (stares at Alan) Are you on crack?
Alan: Maybe if she realized how people see her, she might make an effort to change.
Charlie: If she realized how people see her, she'd just... get new people.
Alan: Just pick out a present that reflects your grandmother.
Jake: Like what?
Charlie: How about a grizzly bear ripping apart a salmon?
(Charlie and Alan are gift shopping)
Jeweler: Well, um, tell me something about [Evelyn]. What does she like?
Charlie: Hurting people!
Alan: Charlie... (back to the jeweler) It's a little hard to answer that because we have a bit of a strained relationship.
Jeweler: Oh, so you'd like to find a gift that would help bring you closer together.
Charlie and Alan: (shaking their heads and hands) Oh, no no... no.
Charlie: We need to do something about Mom.
Alan: I don't disagree, but there's an option to running away from her.
Charlie: Yeah, but we'd get caught, and you'd sell me out for a reduced sentence.
Jeweler: How about perfume? Do you know her scent?
Alan: You do?
Charlie: Do you carry Chanel number 666?
Alan: We have to talk to her about this.
Charlie: Yeah, right. What are we gonna say? "Hey, mom, wanted to let you know you're a miserable she-bat and no one would come to your funeral unless your sons turn it into a three-day beer-fest".
Alan: Are you going to be at mom's funeral?
Charlie: Sure, as the eldest child it is my job to show up and pound the stake in.
Alan: Now, that's not fair.
Charlie: Fine, you can cut off her head and hold it up for the villagers.
Evelyn: All her son did at her funeral was make cynical jokes at her.
Charlie: Did you happen to jot any of them down?
Evelyn: (holding up a scythe at the front door) Your gardener left this outside.
Charlie:(sotto voce) It wasn't the gardener, it was a girl with a grudge.
The German episode title is "Tausche Rezept gegen Mutter", meaning "Switch Mom's Prescription". The French title is "Une nouvelle famille", meaning "The New Family". The Italian title is "Ritratto di famiglia", meaning "Family Portrait". The Spanish title is "Solo me acoste con un comunista", an exact translation.
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #174.
Though credited, Marin Hinkle does not appear in this episode.