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Two and a Half Men

Season 1 Episode 4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 13, 2003 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
156 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Alan has trouble with Berta and Charlie needs to get Jake and Rose to follow his suggestions.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • A mission to get Berta back turns into a hilarious episode

    I quite enjoyed this episode, they just seem to be getting better than the one before (except episode 3 which was my favorite of the first four).

    In this one, Berta the housekeeper walks out on Charlie because Alan has decided to live with Charlie now. So Alan, feeling guilty, decides to try to replace Berta by cleaning but then reveals the shocking truth to Charlie as well. After a big dilemma, Alan goes out to see Berta and convinces her to come back and commence being Charlie's housekeeper. This took a lot of time and patience but we could say that if Alan had not given Berta a chiropractic adjustment, Berta never would have decided to come back. Thanks to the man who caused it in the first place, Berta the housekeeper returned.

    While Alan was giving Berta the nice eyes, Rose told Charlie about some guy she liked and was going to go out with. In the end, it turned out she made him up when she got the mystery man's name wrong. Seriously, as funny as this was, I do not like Rose, She's sick. I don't know what it is, but it's not nice.

    Overall, another good episode leading to a great first season.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (9)

    • Charlie: Alan.
      Alan: Yeah?
      Charlie: I can see you.
      Alan: And I can see you, too.
      Charlie: No, I mean, Berta never cleaned while I was in the room. She was like, invisible.
      Alan: I'm sorry. I'll try to be more transparent.

    • (Alan finishes criticizing Berta's housekeeping habits)
      Berta: I hope you two will be very happy together
      Charlie: Who's gonna take care of me? Who's going to do the laundry and the shopping and the cleaning and all the other stuff?
      Berta: Ask the scrubbing bubble there.

    • Jake: Uncle Charlie, why is Berta leaving?
      Charlie: Why? It doesn't matter, Jake. What matters is she's gone... and we're all going to die.

    • Jake: These clothes look stupid.
      Charlie: You're ten. No one cares.

    • Alan: You're acting like a child.
      Charlie: I am not! (He starts to go upstairs)
      Alan; Where are you going?!
      Charlie: If I can't write my chocolate song, I'm going to take a nap!

    • Alan: Charlie?
      Charlie: What?
      Alan: You just kicked me in your sleep!
      Charlie: Who said I was sleeping?

    • Charlie: Rose, no 'goodbyes.' Just turn around... and walk away.
      Rose: Okay.
      Charlie: Okay.
      Rose: Goodbye.

    • (After Jake leaves with his mother,and is dressed really nicely)
      Alan: I thought you said he won.
      Charlie: He did. Now he's just screwing with me.

    • Charlie: Your hair is still greasy. Did you wash it?
      Jake: You told me to take a shower; you didn't tell me to wash my hair.
      Charlie: Well go wash your hair.
      (Jake goes into the bathroom)
      Rose: You didn't tell him to rinse.
      Charlie: Good idea, good idea. Jake! RINSE!

  • NOTES (1)

    • The German episode title is "Ich brauche Berta", meaning "I Need Berta". The French title is "Un ménage à trois". The Italian episode title is "Berta". The Spanish title is "Si no puedo componer mi canción del chocolate me voy a echar una siesta", an exact translation.