Two and a Half Men

Season 5 Episode 18

If My Hole Could Talk

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM May 12, 2008 on CBS
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Episode Summary

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan's insistance that Jake complete his Taming of the Shrew book report is hampered by Jake's continually losing the book.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (3)

    • Charlie: (about Jake) I'll bet you're sorry you took all that LSD before you had him.
      Alan: I never took any LSD!
      Charlie: You might want to start telling people you did.

    • Alan: (referring to Jake's lost book) We should put frosting on the damn book. He's never lost anything with frosting on it.
      Charlie: I don't know why you continue to bang your head against the wall. The kid is obviously destined to sell tube socks out of the trunk of his car.
      Alan: A business of his own... gee, that would be swell.

    • Jake: I lost my book.
      Allan: And how were you going to write the report?
      Jake: I was hoping for an earthquake.
      Allan: What was your next plan?
      Jake: I pretty much put all my eggs in the earthquake basket.

  • NOTES (4)


    • Comparing chiropractors to medical doctors, Alan bemoans, "you know, nobody makes TV shows about us. Or calls us 'McDreamy' or 'McSteamy'," riffing on Grey's Anatomy, where Drs. Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan are nicknamed "McDreamy" and "McSteamy," respectively.