Alan: (angry after learning Charlie stole Charity from him) I had to go to junior prom with cousin Phoebe.
Charlie: She was cute.
Alan: She was 12 and in a body cast.
Charlie: Well, so what? She was your cousin. She could've been 18 and in a cellophane bikini and you weren't gonna get any.
Alan: You are a horrible human being and I hope you burn in hell! (storms away)
Charlie: (calls to Alan) So we're good?
Alan: (off screen) No! We are not good! We suck! (door slams)
Berta: (offers Charlie coffee) Freshen that up for you?