Charlie rushes into the kitchen, telling Jake and Alan to pretend that they have tickets to a sports game, but only three. Alan scorns Charlie for dumping a girl like that, and Evelyn enters. After Evelyn gives the boys a guilt trip for lying, she asks Charlie to escort her to an evening event. Charlie reluctantly agrees.
Alan enters Charlie's room, where Charlie is getting ready. He gives Charlie advice on handling a night of Evelyn, i.e. bring crackers, don't let her take her shoes off.
Charlie is trying to get Evelyn to eat a Wheat Thin. Evelyn starts giving him the gossip on the people there: a mob producer, a gay vaginal rejuvenation surgeon, etc. Charlie is fascinated and enjoying laughing at others from afar.
Alan and his date are making out on the couch. Sharon tells him she can't. Alan tries to talk her back into it - and succeeds.
Charlie asks Evelyn why she hangs around all these people if she hates them, and she says it's so that she knows when someone is forced to sell.
Alan and Sharon are cuddling, and she starts getting suicidal. Sharon calls her therapist and starts telling her doctor that she did it again, because she felt bad for him.
Berta enters carrying groceries. Alan asks her what it means when someone you just slept with starts crying. Berta can't believe it's never happened to him before. Charlie is talking to his mom and enjoying it.
Charlie and Evelyn have been shopping, and Charlie asks her to stay for dinner, which she declines. Alan mentions that the wife of one Evelyn's big clients called Charlie, and Evelyn asks him not to sleep with him "as his friend, not his mother". Charlie agrees, but calls the woman anyway.
Charlie is in the bed of the wife, and starts feeling less okay with the situation. He tries to justify the situation, but the woman just likes sleeping with strangers. The husband comes home and Charlie goes out the window.
Sharon is at the front door, apologizing to Alan. Alan forgives her. Sharon asks if they can try again.
Charlie is hanging onto the window sill, and the husband says that his Realtor told him about the affair, saying "she's not just my Realtor, she's my friend".
Sharon leaves in a huff, screaming that Alan is a pig and he uses her. Charlie tells Alan he took the high road, but it didn't matter.
Sharon is seen walking into the ocean with her clothes on, and as Alan leaves to pull her back, Charlie asks if she has a friend.