Rose: Charlie Harper was the love of my life, and a wonderful, wonderful man.
Sherri: (faking a sneeze) Selfish pig!
Rose: Sure, our relationship had its ups and downs, and the occasional restraining order, but in the end, we ran away together to Paris, where he asked me to marry him. I said yes, and the next few days were the happiest of my life. Nothing could spoil it. Not even when I came home from shopping and found him taking a shower with another woman.
(everyone else murmurs in agreement that Charlie would do that)
Rose: But I forgave him, because I loved him unconditionally. So you can imagine my horror when the very next day, he slipped on the Metro platform and fell in front of an oncoming train.
Berta: (sotto voce) Never cross a crazy woman.