When Sandy is in the Santa outfit she is wearing both gloves, then in the next shot one of the gloves is off her hand.
Charlie: When was the last time you saw your testicles while in the shower?
Alan: I don't have to see them, I know where they are.
Alan: We have a serious problem.
Charlie: We are out of pie?
Berta: So which one of you guys is slipping the high hard one to Martha Stewart?
(Charlie and Jake come over)
Evelyn: Hold on. Stanley, put your pants back on, we'll exchange gifts later.
Charlie: You lucky dog!
Alan: What? I'm not going in there, she's nuts!
Charlie: Yeah, so, sex with crazy chicks is great. Just make sure you pick positions where you can see what her hands are doing.
Alan: No, no, that would be taking advantage of a mentally unbalanced person.
Charlie: Oh, Alan, that boat has sailed, may as well hop on board for a farewell cruise.
Sandy: Who has room for another eclair?
Alan: Not unless I unbutton my pants.
Charlie: My pants are already unbuttoned.
Jake: I took mine off when she brought the marshmallow yams.
Charlie: After lunch I took a nap and woke up in Santa's village of the damned.
Sandy: Come on, Jake, you're my official taster.
Jake: I like her.
Jake: It's like an amusement park.
Charlie: Yeah, Six Flags Over Crazy-Ass Chick Land.
Jake: Is she going to stay over?
Jake: Where is she going to sleep?
Alan: In my room.
Jake: Ok, but remember, the walls are thin and I'm impressionable.
Alan: I thought you were going to Vegas for Christmas.
Charlie: You'd like that, wouldn't you? Then you can have the whole ham to yourself.
(Berta has become irritated with Sandy)
Berta: We gotta talk.
Charlie: I'm on it.
Berta: You better be, 'cause now I've got the proper tool.
Berta: I find just a couple of Valiums in my coffee keeps me from snapping necks.
Sandy: I hope Jake likes me.
Charlie: The way you cook, your only problem is keeping him from humping your leg.
Alan: Guess where we met? In cooking class.
Charlie: You've been taking a cooking class?
Alan: Where do you think I go every Tuesday?
Charlie: You're not here on Tuesdays?
Charlie: How'd you sleep?
Sandy: Great. You?
Charlie: LIke a drunk baby.
Sandy: My mother always said, "a well fed man is a happy man."
Charlie: Our mother said, "here's ten bucks for pizza. Don't wait up."
Alan: You know what would be great? Honey-baked fudge.
Charlie: Or, fudge-covered ham.
Alan: Look at that. They're bonding already.
Charlie: Your kid would join the Taliban if they made their own s'mores.
Sandy: What's Christmas without caroling?
Alan: There's something wrong with Sandy.
Charlie: Didn't we already know that when she agreed to sleep with you?
The French episode title is "L'amour sans amour", meaning "The Love without Love". The Italian title is "Punizione meritata", meaning "Deserved Punishment". The Spanish title is "La casa de Santa Claus de los infiernos", meaning "Santa's House in Hell".
Berta refers to Sandy as Martha Stewart. In Latin America, it's translated as Paris Hilton.
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