Two and a Half Men

Season 2 Episode 23

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM May 16, 2005 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
179 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Awesome Episode!!

    All i have to say is... @thefanof is the biggest tit wanker in the land of tit wanking, tit wankers.
  • Squab

    Very pedestrian and at times boring episode of Two and a Half Men here. There were actually minutes, complete minutes, of this episode where you did not laugh once, and that is something that is almost always absent from this program.

    This is the most popular sitcom on TV, and deservingly so, but it is not episodes like this that are the reason why. The humor here was childish, the laughs were minimal, and you could see how it was going to end from a mile away.

    This was a forgettable episode and you would be hard pressed to debate anything otherwise.moreless
  • Just saw this tonight

    Wow, thats what I have to say. Wow. I laughed harder watching this espoid then i have in a very long time watching TV.

    putting Jake with his Grandma was a really good idea and lead to lots and lots of jokes. This epsoid is in my top 10 epsoids of all time.
  • This is funnier than the best seinfeld (IMHO, Merv Griffin Set)! I haven't seen any episodes of season 5 yet, but this is the BEST episode of the first 96 episodes of seasons 1-4. This was hysterical!moreless

    ake just nonchalantly (spoiler) completely diassembled the razor-edged Evelyn just by being himself! This is jake at his best, by far. Charlie and Jake are my favorite characters, but they wouldn't be so awesome without Berta and Alan.

    Jake just reacted to his mom in this episode and Evelyn's character (propriety, sophistication, eloquence, connosiur) was the absolute antithesis of jake's "ketchup, hotdogs and spaghetti" "hickness". I was cracking up when evelyn said "grandson's a hill-billy" because he IS a bit, in the best way, though! Jake's just such a relaxed character completely indifferent to the image-focused arena of malibu. The stark contrast of evelyn. I still crack up picturing evelyn basically like "twitching" on the sofa as charlie and alan came back to check in on them. God this was SO hysterical! Mainly because something like this happened to me with my little brother in his youth. He burped, swiped out a table cloth, spilled drinks, and completely annihilated this chinese restaurant just with accidental gestures! lol. I think my natural state relates most closely to jake and alan, and I, when under stress, became a bit like alan. Alan's character is probably the epitome of someone who looks SO uncomfortable in his skin (the opposite of charlie), unless alan is moving around. Opposites (not unlike Seinfeld) clearly make this show incredible. I've seen every episode of South Park, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and now 2.5 men. I love the malibu surfer lifestyle. That's me at heart.

    So this show really hits home in a very deep and profound way because my mom was VERY VERY manipulative and controlling and icy, and resembles Evelyn in so many ways, but quality, sophisticated, a leader, too. And back in my "primetime" charlie reminded me -- mannerisms, energy levels, interaction with women -- exactly of me and my brother had the exact same countenance as alan. Meanwhile my much younger brother was born big and wise and just so relaxed, exactly like Jake! I haven't been able to spend nearly as much time as I've wanted to spend with my brothers, and this show is the closest thing to vicariously kind of "reconnecting with them! I feel like I'm watching wierd futuresque "home videos" of sorts. Either way, the characters of Charlie, Jake, and Alan (and Evelyn) hit VERY close to home, to my biological family, so in addition to being hysterical, 2.5 conjures a very strong "the best memories" connection. Seinfeld and Southpark, for example, while brilliant, witty and plain hysterical, however, do not do that. I can't relate to 4th graders and middle-aged new york yuppies as well as I can with the personalities of Jake, Alan, and Charlie resembling my brothers and I! This show rocks and this specific episode, I think, (others that come close are south park's "Scott Tenorman Must Die", "Cartman Dies", Seinfeld's "Merv Griffin Set" and "Calzone") this episode is the best tv episode I've ever seen and this show, obviously, is one of hte best ever. Charlie's so cool and he almost gives "dating pickup advice" throughout the show subtley, too! That "I understand" line was brilliant. Charlie kind of represents an old part of me of which I constantly try to reconnect amidst life stressors (and the stressors make me more like alan, more like my brother). So awesome episode, incredible show.

    When I currently feel like I don't have a solid friend network, I can flick on this show and it always feels like friends.

    So when I watch this show, I say Thanks for the "memories" (because of the fraternal memories and connections it conjures) and laughs! This rocks!

    God, Evelyn reminds me SO much of my grandmother and mom! Refined, but VERY intelligent and intrusive and demanding. Hysterical. Charlie just understands all the undertones of conversation (maintaining self-respect, points, counter-points etc.)

    Hysterical lines from this episode:

    When Alan doesn't get the "Bad Idea" thing. When Charlie "refs" the counter-point, point, "awkward silence" of the conversation in meta style. The teenage drinking and constant running away" lol! That happened to me all the time! I ran away at 12 and did teenage drinking (early) haha.

    "People can't buy love..."

    "Here's 20 dollars". The icecream "hello". LOL!

    the "hateful child" remark hit close to home.

    The nose-pick scene was CLASSIC! The "not on furniture" thing is EXACTLY like my mom. "rooting around with nostril". Jake and Evelyn are the most POLAR characters in the show. Educated guess. LOL. Jake is so relaxed!

    "that's gross, it tastes like worms!" done SO perfectly. Then the pillow-wasabe scene.

    Alan is so scientific and detail-specific and Charlie is all "how people work". Saying "squab" under his breathe.


    The best shows, dash and cut between scenes (bar and house, in this case).

    The waterdrop scene was hysterical.

    "Chewed her up and spit her out. Simpleton. "Chosen one" LOL "pull my finger".moreless
  • Squab: Pretty awesome!

    After hearing that Jake spent the past weekend with Judith's parents, Evelyn complains that she doesnt get him for one single day. So Charlie and Alan leave Jake with her. Thinking that she might traumatize him, the Harper bros decode to return... until a voleyball team enters the bar where they are! When they return, the find Evelyn traumatized instead of Jake!

    This episode is undoubtly one of the best episodes in season 2! This episode was so full of funny parts and was awesome! The episode was rlly amazing, with Jake driving Evelyn crazy and Charlie and Alan partying with a voleyball team!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (11)

    • (Charlie and Alan are partying with an attractive female volleyball team)
      Alan: Which one do you want?
      Charlie: "One?" God has given you an box of assorted chocolates, and you're going to try one?
      Alan: So you were thinking, maybe, two?
      Charlie: I was thinking more like nine.

    • Alan: I've never had group sex.
      Charlie: It's an overrated man's fantasy.
      Alan: Really?
      Charlie: No, are you kidding?

    • Charlie: Do you have [Evelyn's] number?
      Alan: Don't you have her on speed dial?
      Charlie: If I can't eat it, bang it, bet on it, it's not on my phone.

    • (Jake finds out he's spending the night with Evelyn)
      Jake: Uncle Charlie, can you get me out of this?
      Charlie: That depends. Are you willing to live in Mexico for a few years?
      Jake: Sí.

    • Evelyn: Excuse me. I didn't hear any complaints when I was raising you two.
      Charlie: Really? The teen-age drinking and constant running away wasn't a slight tip-off?

    • (after Jake's time with Evelyn)
      Charlie: You know, I always thought your kid was a simpleton.
      Alan: Me, too.
      Charlie: But clearly, he is the chosen one.
      Jake: Hey, guys, check this out. (making his hands "talk") "Pull my finger. Okay."
      (Jake pulls his own finger and farts)
      Alan: And they shall call him Jake.

    • Evelyn: Good Lord, are you picking your nose?!?
      Jake: I had to. There was stuff in it.
      Evelyn: And just where were you planning to put it?
      Jake: I didn't really have a plan.

    • Jake: (angry because he has to spend the night with Evelyn) What did I ever do to you?
      Alan: It's not a punishment.
      Jake: It's not a prize. I'm calling Mom!

    • Charlie: No man has ever gotten into a woman's pants chit-chatting about skin cancer.
      Alan: You can't possibly know that.

    • Evelyn: (to Alan) Are you telling me you need to get your ex-wife's approval to let your own son spend time with your own mother?
      Charlie: He had a really, really bad lawyer.

    • (after Jake's time with their mother)
      Charlie: Do you realize that he did in one night, what we could never do in a lifetime?
      Alan: He broke her.
      Charlie: He spit her out and chewed her up.
      Alan: It was beautiful.

  • NOTES (4)