Alan says the title of this episode.
Alan: I don't get it, Charlie. I'm a good guy, I try to do the right thing and I have nothing to show for it.
Charlie: You still grinding on the fact that you finally met a great gal, moved in with her, had a house you call your own, then burned it down with all your possessions and watched her run off with her ex-husband?
Alan: Was it really necessary to list the entire fiasco?
Charlie: I enjoy the occasional recap.
Alan: (gives Jake a check) Alrighty. Here we go. Thirty eight dollars and 41 cents for school pictures.
Jake: Thanks. You forgot to sign it.
Alan: No-- Did I? Oh, silly me. Ha, ha. (signs the check)Um, "Alan Jerome Harper, D.C."
Jake: District of Columbia?
Alan: Doctor of Chiropractic. You know, not everyone can use those letters after his name.
Jake: Congratulations. Give me the check.(looks at the check) You put the wrong date.
Alan: Oh, did I?
Jake: Yeah. See? It's for next month.
Alan: Ah, don't worry about that. That's just for bookkeeping purposes.
Jake: This isn't gonna be like the check you gave me for the field trip to Catalina, is it?
Alan: Hey, that was the bank's mistake.
Jake: The teacher made me stay on the boat while everyone else went swimming with dolphins.
Alan: Dolphins carry disease, Jake.
Jake: (leaves with the check) Alan Harper, D.I.C.
Alan: You're welcome.
Jake: You're cheap.
Alan: I'm not cheap, I'm broke. There's a difference.
Charlie: (walks by Jake) He was cheap long before he was broke.
International Airdates: Australia: November 15, 2010 on GO!; United Kingdom: February 21, 2011 on Comedy Central; Sweden: March 21, 2011 on TV6; Slovakia: June 25, 2012 on Markiza
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #301, his first self-censoring. The real card (available on his website) tells the story of why Gretchen has a happy face armband. Though the two visuals had been in place since the script's first draft and CBS executives were in attendence during the episode's taping, it wasn't until five days before broadcast that Chuck was contacted by a Marty Franks and told Gretchen's swastika armband and Alan's Hitler moustache were not suitable for broadcast. Chuck was able to get them to settle for digitally altering the armband to a happy face and letting him keep Alan's Hitler moustache.
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