Two and a Half Men

Season 2 Episode 6

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Oct 25, 2004 on CBS
out of 10
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138 votes

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Episode Summary

Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Entertaining and freaking hilarious

    Awesome, awesome, awesome... enough said.

    Awesome episode. The silly putty incident was the ideal story for an episode. The first couple of scenes rocked my world. "Jake, have you ever eatern a snail before?" asked Charlie. "Yeah" replied Jake. "I mean... in a restaraunt" said Charlie. "Ah no...". That was nuts but damn hilarious.

    Then, back at the Malibu beach house, Jake had direah and then farted in bed right in front of his father. Alan taught Jake an important lesson he learned from the shoplifting incident and Jake said "Always stick to your story no matter how lame it is?" ROTFL> Then the farting scene (unforgettable): "Oh god Jake, that's awful!!!" says Alan. "Yeah, I wish I could have saved that one for school". Oh my god, but wow, Charlie actually revealed the fact that he himself planted the silly putty on Alan when they were kids. "DAMN you to hell! Come out here and die like a man!" lol.

    Then, at the dinner table how Jake randomly asks his Dad "Dad, if you kicked Charlie in the balls, would that make you guys even?". "No" replied Alan.

    Also, Charlie showing up at his mothers house unannounced was freaking hilarious. He wanted forgiveness for doing bad to Alan. He got it, but his mother like always, wanted something in return.

    Overall, it just seems to be getting better and funnier. This episode was just the real example of comedy.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • At the end of the episode when Alan and Charlie are sitting out on the deck, the camera shows Alan taking a sip of his drink. However, in the next shot showing Charlie, Alan's drink is back in his lap and there was insufficient time for Alan to move his arm back down.

    • When Charlie and Alan are sitting on the sofa and Charlie says "What if the security guard did plant it on you? That would mean that there's no bad Alan," the items that Alan is holding switch hands. Alan goes from holding a biscuit in his right hand and a food packet in his left hand to holding the biscuit in his left hand and the food packet in his right hand.

    • The morning after Charlie tells Alan he was the one who planted the Silly Putty on him, when they are arguing at the breakfast table, Jake's glass of orange juice (which he put on his left side as he was leaving the table), shifts to the right side for the camera shots with just Alan (which would have been Jake's right side), and then shifts back on the side where the glass was originally placed later during the argument.

  • QUOTES (15)

    • (Alan is furious with Charlie)
      Evelyn: How are my boys doing this evening? (no response) Well, I think Mommy has the answer. Alan, if you find it intolerable, living under the same roof with the brother who betrayed you, then you and Jake can come and live with me.
      Alan: (thinks it over, turns to Charlie and shakes his hand) We're good.

    • Alan: (to Jake) Your father never stole anything in his life. And your Uncle Charlie is a thief and a coward.
      Jake: Yeah, but you're a mule.
      Alan: (to Charlie) Are you happy? (to Jake) Go get dressed and washed.
      Jake: Can we go to the mall?
      Alan: Why do wa—no!
      Jake: (walks away) I need to get a different mule.

    • Alan: (to Charlie) Tell Jake what you told me last night. Charlie: Oh, okay, sure. Jake, your father didn't steal the Silly Putty, I did.
      Jake: Really?
      Charlie: Yeah, I stuck it in his pocket, so if anything happened, he'd be the one to get in trouble.
      Alan: What do you think now, Jake?
      Jake: I think Uncle Charlie's a genius.

    • Charlie: Good morning.
      Jake: Morning. Why are you walking like that?
      Charlie: I spent the night in the bathroom.
      Jake: You, too, huh?

    • Alan: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again didn't you?
      Jake: It's 1234. Even a monkey could crack that.

    • Charlie: (Charlie locks himself in Alan's bathroom while Alan is outside in the bedroom) There is no bad Alan. I'm the one who stole the Silly Putty and put it in your pocket when you weren't looking. Three, four, five, six, seven—
      Alan: Damn you to hell! Come out here and die like a man!
      Charlie: (to himself) What do you know, there is a bad Alan.

    • Alan: Did you see me take the Silly Putty?
      Charlie: Oh, no, no, I was nowhere near the Silly Putty. I think I was in the doll section, taking a peek under Barbie's dress. What a gyp that was!

    • Alan: You, too?
      Charlie: Yeah, apparently mom wasn't the only parasite at dinner tonight.

    • Alan: Are you okay?
      Jake: No. That deer didn't have antlers when I ate it, but it's sure coming out that way.

    • Jake: Dad, did you ever steal a car?
      Alan: I never stole anything.
      Jake: It's okay, you can tell me. I already know you got a rap sheet.
      Alan: For the last time, I did not take the Silly Putty, but the experience did teach me an important lesson and you know what that was?
      Jake: If you get caught, stick to your story no matter how lame it is?
      Alan: No, the lesson was...
      Jake: Hang on, Dad (Jake farts silently) Okay, go ahead.
      Alan: The lesson was—oh, God, Jake, that's awful!
      Jake: Yeah, I wish I could have saved that one for school!

    • Charlie: Remember how you were a bed wetter until you were eight?
      Alan: Yeah.
      Charlie: You actually stopped at six.
      Alan: What? What did you do? Did you sneak into my room and pour warm water on me while I was asleep?
      Charlie: Yeah, okay. Let's say that it was water, and that I poured it.....

    • Jake: Dad, if Uncle Charlie let you kick him in the nuts would that make you guys even? Alan: No. Jake: (to Charlie) Boy, he's really mad at you.

    • Charlie: You are tightly wrapped aren't you?
      Alan: The price of healthy gums is eternal vigilance.

    • Charlie: Hey, Jake, have you ever eaten snails?
      Jake: Yeah, sure.
      Charlie: I mean in a restaurant.
      Jake: Uh, no.

    • Evelyn: So, dear...
      Jake: What?
      Evelyn: You see anything you like?
      Jake: I don't know. What's venison?
      Evelyn: Deer.
      Jake: What?
      Evelyn: Deer.
      Jake: What?
      Evelyn: Deer! D-E-E-R.
      Jake: What? W-H-A-T.
      Evelyn: What's wrong with him?
      Alan: Jake, it's the deer in the forest. Like Bambi.
      Jake: Oh, cool, let's eat Bambi!
      Charlie: Coming soon to pay per view.

  • NOTES (3)

    • The German episode title is "Der böse Alan", meaning "The Bad Alan". The French title is "Une bonne pâte", meaning "A Good Paste". The Italian title is "Al mano lesta", meaning "A Deft Hand". The Spanish title is "Para Tener unas Encías Sanas hay que Pagar un Alto Precio", meaning "One Must Pay a High Price for Healthy Gums".

    • This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #123.

    • Both Marin Hinkle (Judith) and Conchata Ferrell (Berta) didn't appear in the original airing of this episode.


    • The title is a variation of a quote by Wendell Phillips: "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty."

    • Evelyn refers to a therapist that she took Alan to as a child as, "that wall-eyed doctor." Jon Cryer portrayed a character named Jim 'Wash Out' Pfaffenbach in Hot Shots!. He suffered from the dreaded malady "Wall-eye Vision."