Alan asks Charlie if he knows how to get Kandi's 1981 Plymouth Duster moving, but in fact the Duster name was not used for any 1981 model year cars.
Alan:[Kandi] looks up to me. She thinks I'm special. She thinks I'm smart. Charlie: She thinks gazpacho is Pinocchio's father.
Alan: I'm all tapped out. All I have left to put on eBay is a kidney or a lung.
Kandi: If I were you, I'd sell the kidney 'cause lungs don't grow back.
Charlie: You don't dry clean a rented tuxedo. You don't redecorate a hotel room. You don't order cable for a port-a-potty…unless you're really, really drunk. And you don't take on the bills of a girl that's got the attention span of a monkey chewing on a fly swatter.
Berta: (about Jake) Sweet kid.
Berta: Shame he'll never be anything more than a burden on society.
Charlie: What are you auctioning?
Alan: Well, a few rare books, a couple of lithos, a set of golf clubs…
Charlie: Since when do you play golf?
Alan: Uh, well, technically, they're your clubs.
Charlie: You're stealing from me?!
Alan: Oh, come on, you only bought 'em so you could go to Palm Springs and pick up lesbians!
Alan: (on the phone with the dentist) Who told you to look at her wisdom teeth?
Charlie: That girl's got wisdom teeth?
Alan: Can I have some privacy, please?
Charlie: Sure. Get your own place.
Charlie: (to Alan) I'm going to solve all your problems (walks out with a baseball bat) Do you want see it coming, or should I surprise you?
Sid: Well, dear heart, I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but there's a chance that some unscrupulous businessperson has taken advantage of your good nature.
Kandi: Boy, that happens a lot.
Sid: All right, Mr. Harper, I've looked at your daughter's vehicle.
Alan: She's, uh…she's not my daughter.
Sid: Oh. Good for you. Anyway, the prognosis looks pretty bleak.
Alan: I understand.
Sid: I mean, the vehicle was on fire.
Alan: I know.
Sid: What is she, like 21?
Kandi: And a half.
Sid: Good for you.
Alan: Yeah, yeah, but what about the car?
Sid: Oh, the car? The car's got to be 25, 26 years old.
Charlie: You ever see a kid at school who doesn't like his lunch, but he won't let you have it. either?
Jake: Oh, yeah, Russell Beasley. He'll spit on his apple cobbler before he'll let anybody else eat it.
Charlie: Well, this is pretty much the same deal, except your Mom is Russell Beasley, and your Dad is the spit-covered cobbler.
Jake: I don't understand.
Charlie: Even though your mom doesn't want your dad, she doesn't want Kandi to eat him, either.
Jake: Oh. You know, I like cobbler with ice cream.
Charlie: Way to follow a train of thought.
The German episode title is "Nieren wachsen schneller nach", meaning "Kidneys Grow Faster". The French title is "Victime de l'amour", meaning "Victim of Love". The Italian title is "Alan il magnifico". The Spanish title is "El pastel cubierto de saliva", an exact translation.
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