When Charlie and Alan are on the deck talking about their love lives, at one scene you can notice Charlie leaving his iPhone on the table. In the next scene, it's gone.
Herb says the title of the episode.
Jerome: I couldn't be friends with the man who's puttin' it to my ex.
Herb: Well, to be fair, there hasn't been a lot of "puttin'" lately.
Alan: And after the baby there'll be even less.
Herb: How's that possible?
Alan: Not only will she not let you touch her, she'll interrupt you while you're touching yourself.
Herb: Judith calls mine "that thing."
Alan: As in, "Get that thing away from me?"
Herb: Yeah. How'd you know?
Alan: Just a guess.
(discussing Jake's date)
Jake: She's gorgeous. And smart, and popular—
Herb: No kidding.
Charlie: We don't get it, either.
Alan: Maybe she's punishing her father.
Jake: (excited) Let's hope so!
(Jake brushes past Judith and Herb, fighting in their doorway, to meet Alan)
Jake: Hi, Dad; bye, Mom; good luck, Herb.
Herb: Bye, Jake. Wish I was going with ya!
(cut to Herb in the back seat as Alan and Jake drive back to Malibu)
Herb: I knew it as soon as the words came out of my mouth.
Charlie: Oh, come on, fantasizing is NOT cheating.
Alan: To women it is; they—they don't like the idea that you're mentally replacing them with someone else.
Charlie: What if I'm mentally supplementing them with someone else? You know, like I'm making love to Chelsea, and in my mind, Rachael here is just helping out! (shows Alan the topless photo)
Charlie: You sure you don't want a drink?
Alan: Nah, when I'm depressed, alcohol just makes me worse.
Charlie: Yeah, see, the key is to drink past that. It's not a sprint; it's a marathon.
Chelsea: Let's face it, Charlie, we both knew you were going to blow it eventually.
Charlie: I didn't! I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure!
Alan: (over the phone to Melissa) So, bottom line, I was drugged and molested by your mother, and I'm the bad guy?
Berta: (to Charlie) Man, how many times have I heard you make this phone call?
Jerome: Celeste! Jake's here. So, how you been?
Jake: We're walking down the pier, we're gonna play Skee-Ball, we'll be back by 11:00.
Jerome: You're damn right you will.
Berta: Alright, I ordered your pizza. I'm going home.
Charlie: Thanks, Berta. "I ordered your pizza, I'm going home." Two of the three things you want in a woman.
Charlie: Just what we need to brighten up our weekend: a large, sullen teenager with gas and questionable hygiene.
Alan: There's nothing "questionable" about it.
The German episode title is "Die Zwei-Finger-Regel", and the French title is "La règle des deux doigts", both exact translations. The Italian title is "Cuori solitari", meaning "Lonely Hearts".
Latin America: April 28, 2009 on Warner Channel
Australia: May 12, 2009 on Channel 9
Czech Republic: May 12, 2010 on TV Nova
Slovakia: October 18, 2010 on Markiza
This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #248.
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