Walden says the title of this episode.
Alan: (reading Charlie's journal) "To whom it may concern:
If you are reading this, it means either my heart or lungs finally gave out. Or I rejected my new liver. Or my brother wouldn't give me a piece of his. Or I choked on my own vomit. Or somebody else's. Or some crazy chick pushed me in front of a bus." Ohhhh, so close!
Evelyn: I can't believe you've managed to stay in this house. You're like a human barnacle.
Alan: (sarcastic) Thanks, Mom.
Evelyn: I wasn't putting you down, sweetheart. It's good that you have a skill.
Jake: I bet you shower every day.
Megan: Jake, we're supposed to be studying for the chemistry mid-term.
Jake: I'd rather study our chemistry.
Jake: Really? I thought it was a double intendo.
Alan: [Charlie] intimated on many occassions that he had some cash stashed away for emergencies—you know, like getting a hooker after an earthquake.
Walden: (in bed after sex) Are you going to tell Alan?
Evelyn: I'm going to tell everyone.
This episode's end titles reuse Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #348, which was also used in this season's premiere.
United Kingdom: November 7, 2011 on Comedy Central
Finland: September 13, 2012 on Sub
Slovakia: November 5, 2012 on Markiza
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