Two and a Half Men

Season 4 Episode 11

Walnuts and Demerol

Aired Thursday 9:00 PM Dec 11, 2006 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
189 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Christmas for these 2 and 1/2 men

    "joy to the world, I'm getting laid... I'm getting... laid... tonight." Charlie's plans to go to bed with a woman on christmas eve seems ruined when his friends and family show up in his house and turn it into a party.

    One of the funniest episode in season 4, a great episode and awesome jokes. Berta's lines made this episode even funnier, and the fact that Herb tries to seduce Kandi makes it even better. Charlie could have slept with a woman who could have been his sister, and Evelyn tries to make him stop. This story and plotlines make the episode funny and even thrilling... Merry christmas to the Harper boys.moreless
  • Great episode, but it felt like it was rushed because something was missing...

    Pretty good one for sure, but it seemed like something was missing. You know what I mean, the final scene was the final scene but there could have been more.

    The whole analysis and the story was a great one! It probably would have scored a few more points if they hadn't rushed it. I don't know if they did, but it felt like it. Kandi was a hit actress tonight but she wasn't really a main character, Herb and Judith with Jake ended well, with him throwing up all over the place. Charlie and Gloria were funny, she just wanted to hump him but it's a miracle that he declined!

    Evelyn Harper is always funny, but not Berta anymore. I only laughed once or twice through this episode, but I wasn't really focussed on that, the story/plot was so detailed and interesting that I had to look elsewhere, meaning looking at that.

    So in overall terms, it was a great one full of surprises but it was definitely rushed and missing something. It could have had more detail.

    Still, a fine example of Season 4. Jake got an Nintendo Wii!!!moreless
  • Party Planner!

    Since "Heroes" is off the air until Jannery 22, until then I'll have to review "Two and a half Men!" And I didn't miss much, this epiosde is about a romantic night for Charlie wich is being interrupted by his friends. This christmas epsoide more funny than "How I Met Your Mother" and "the class" put together. Then in the bedroom, there was a stcking statement that the woman charlie's about the sleep with is his sister. And Susan sullivan and Holland Talyer may have hinted a relationship. I would love to see Taylor and Sullivan make out. Maybe in a future epsiode.moreless
  • Conchata Ferrell is the real star of this show

    I took points off for the yucky story of Charlie in bed with a woman who might be his half sister. Rose and Berta following everyone around watching the "floor show" was so funny. Kandi playing chopsticks and singing Christmas carols to it was great. I didn't recognize her with her hair down.
  • Funny as always

    Charlie wants to get laid as always but this time he unknowingly may be having sex with his half sister. The plotline was great, well managed and very funny. I loved how Berta commented about the plot as it unraveled. There were a few obscene references that I can't believe they got past the censor. The "It doesn't go back in the box the same as it came out" line was pretty dirty escpecially when it was said by the kid. Ryan Stiles should be on the show more because he is hilarious and adds a lot to the show. This was another in a great line of super shows. A+moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (20)

    • Evelyn: I forbid you to see this woman anymore.
      Charlie: You forbid? What gives you the right to forbid? I'm 39-year-old.
      Evelyn: I'm your mother, you are 40, and you must not see this woman anymore!
      Charlie: Mom, you know that just makes me want her more.
      Evelyn: Charlie I mean it!
      Charlie: I'm getting hotter.
      Evelyn: Look I know certain things about Gloria's past which are, well, unsavory.
      Charlie: Okay, I'm going supernova.
      Evelyn: Will you listen to me! If you continue to see this woman it will hurt me deeply.
      Charlie: I may have to marry this girl.

    • Dorothy: Listen, Alan, I'm looking for my daughter.
      Alan: Drunk blond?
      Dorothy: Well, she isn't always blond.

    • Herb: I'm a doctor!
      Kandi: A real one, or like Alan?
      Herb: I'm a pediatrician.
      Kandi: Wow, so you're into feet.
      Herb: No, children.
      Kandi: Isn't that illegal?

    • Alan: Kandi, What are you doing here?
      Kandi: I didn't want to be alone on Christmas Eve and I didn't know where else to go.
      Alan: Where's your new boyfriend?
      Kandi: He decided to spend Christmas with his family.
      Alan: Why didn't he bring you along?
      Kandi: He thought it would make his wife uncomfortable.

    • Herb: Honey, we've got a long drive ahead of us. (turns to Alan) We're spending the holidays in San Diego with my parents.
      Judith: That's why I need eggnog.
      Herb: Hey, I spent thanksgiving with your parents.
      Alan: Oh, really, your mom's out of rehab?
      Judith: Yes, my mom's out of rehab.
      Herb: Actually she kind of jumped the fence.
      Alan: Well, the woman's going to be your mother-in-law, you might as well get used to it. (turns to Judith) Remember the time she rode out of Betty Ford on a lawn mower? (Judith glares at Alan) On the plus side, she bakes Toll House cookies with walnuts and Demerol.

    • Jake: Stuff never goes back in the box the way it came out.
      Charlie: That's a life lesson, Jake.

    • Charlie: You're leaving, too, right?
      Alan: Yes, relax. I plan on spending Christmas Eve at a movie theater all by myself just so you can have sex tonight.
      Charlie: You could have sex, too. Just pick the right movie theater.
      (doorbell rings – Charlie turns and yells) Jake, time to go.
      (turns back to Alan) Take some paper towels and don't wear your suede shoes.
      Alan: Ho, ho, ho!
      Charlie: That's another option.

    • Charlie: [sung to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'] Four call girls, three French maids, two drunk twins, and a lap dance in a pear tree.

    • Charlie: (sung to the tune of Gloria In Excelsis Deo) Gloooooria, tonight I'm boinking Gloria!

    • Charlie: (sung to the tune of 'Joy to the World')
      Joy to the world
      I'm getting laid.
      I'm getting, laid, tonight.
      We'll light the yule log, deck the halls.
      And then we'll play some jingle balls.
      It's been a real long wait.
      This is our second date.
      It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting laid.

    • Berta: (carrying more eggnog) Here we go, more fuel for the fire.
      Charlie: You said you were going home.
      Berta: Well, that was before I knew you were having a party.
      Charlie: This isn't a party. It's just a bunch of people I don't like, standing around, drinking my booze. Oh, crap, it is a party.

    • Charlie: This is kind of exciting. (unwraps gift) Fart in a Can?
      Jake: You don't have one, do you?
      Charlie: Well, I've got you, but this is good for travel.

    • Dorothy: Alan?
      Alan: Uh, yes.
      Dorothy: I haven't seen you in thirty-five years.
      Alan: No kidding. Uh, I'm sorry, I...I...I don't remember you.
      Dorothy: Oh, well I'm not surprised. At the time you were busy learning to use the big boy potty.
      Alan: Ah, well. I did it!

    • Alan: (opening a door) Jake?
      Judith and Herb: (yelling) Whoa,Whoa,Whoa!
      Alan: Judith, what the hell are you doing?!
      Judith: You told me to fight for my man; I'm fighting for my man.
      Herb: Alan, would you please close the door?
      Alan: (to Herb) Sorry. (to himself) Twelve years of marriage, she never fought for me from that angle.

    • Berta: Ahh, ain't that sweet? Every time a guy has sex, an angel gets a stiffy.

    • Berta: Hey. I'm mixing up the eggnog, you want this broad lit up, or just slightly glowing?
      Charlie: Well let's see. We're celebrating peace on earth and goodwill towards all mankind, so lets get her ploughed.
      Berta: Hallelujah!

    • Alan: (Gives Jake his gift) You can open it tomorrow with your mother (...Jake starts to rip it open) or you can rip it open now with your teeth like a rabid jackal.

    • Rose: Charlie found his boundary.
      Berta: It's a miracle.
      Rose: A Christmas miracle.

    • Judith: Tell your ex-wife to stop flirting with my fiancé.
      Alan: Actually, the way I see it your peanut butter is all over my chocolate.
      Judith: Alan, I can make your life a living hell.
      Alan: How would I know the difference?

    • Charlie: Rose, this isn't a Christmas party!!!
      Rose: Then what do you call this?(points at all the people in his house)
      Charlie: The beginning of a news story that ends with the phrase "And then he turned the weapon on himself"

  • NOTES (3)

    • The German episode title is "Entweihnacht", meaning "Profane Night". The French title is "Mon plus beau Noël", meaning "My Best Christmas". The Italian title is "Noci e cloroformio", meaning "Walnuts and Chloroform". The Spanish title is "Nueces y demerol", an exact translation.

    • Alternate Title: Can't Bono Airdrop some Cheese?

    • Kandi plays the same tune on the piano for every song when she is singing Christmas songs. The tune is Heart and Soul.


    • When Judith begs Alan to get Herb off of Kandi, Alan replies that from his viewpoint, "your peanut butter is all over my chocolate," playing off 1970's advertisements for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.