When Alan picks up the huge suitcase, it is obviously actually very light.
Charlie says the title Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs in this episode.
Charlie: Don't be lettin' your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.
Berta: He folded, didn't he?
Charlie: My ass is covered with lip prints.
Alan: I couldn't bring a woman to one of those places. The only way I would get sex was if I molested a rat.
Jake: What's her name again?
Charlie: Salma Hayek
Jake: Her name is as pretty as her boobs.
Charlie: Sure, you can stay. You're like family.
Berta: I've seen how you treat family.
Alan: You mind looking after Jake while I'm gone?
Charlie: If it will help you get outta here, I'd breast feed him for you.
Evelyn: I have a final alternative.
Alan: And what would that be?
Evelyn: Run straight to your brother's ass, and kiss it repeatedly.
Berta: (to Alan) Way to stand up for yourself. Are we really out of meatloaf, or were you just saying that to piss him off?
Alan: Jake, I think we have overstayed our welcome.
Charlie: Jake is still welcome, you're the one with the attitude.
(Both Charlie and Alan look at Berta for advice in their argument)
Berta: Oh, don't put me in the middle, I love you both.
Berta: You know, you've got a great view here.
Charlie: You're just noticing?
Berta: My days here are spent looking at dirty toilets and washing horse starch you call sheets.
Berta: You mind if I take your room?
Alan: Gee! You want to take my room, I ....?
Berta: Trust me, you would want me to have a room with a private crapper.
Berta: (to Alan) I have five brothers and sister, which would explain why I'm such a people pleaser.
Alan: What about the other thing?
Jake: What other thing?
Alan: The thing you thought I was thinking?
Jake: I'm sorry, Dad, you lost me.
Jake: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine....
Alan: What are you doing?
Jake: I'm masticating.
Alan: I'm a victim here.
Berta: Oh, yeah, you've got 'victim' written all over you.
Alan: But does my brother sympathize?
Berta: Do Catholic priests make good babysitters?
Alan: Incredible! I've been living here for two years and you still consider me a houseguest.
Charlie: No. My houseguests bring a bottle of wine and have sex with me.
Charlie: (staggering down the stairs) Never, never, never again.
Berta: You gonna stop drinking?
Charlie: Don't be ridiculous. I'm gonna stop waking up.
Berta: You spent all that money on an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house and you're not allowed inside either one of them.
The German episode title is "Fragen Sie einfach mich", meaning "Just Ask Me". The French title is "Macho en panne", meaning "Broken Macho Man". The Italian title is "Lezione tra fratelli", meaning "Brotherly Lessons". The Spanish title is "Esa actitud de desprecio hacia las tetas", an exact translation.
Alan: You said anything I said was... Jabberwocky.
"Jabberwocky" is a nonsense poem written by Lewis Carroll that appeared in the book "Through the Looking-Glass".
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