Two Guys and a Girl Season 4 Episode 5

Johnny: (To Germ.) No offence but I don't want your advice. You look funny, you smell funny and I'm pretty sure you think funny.

Ashley: I am an experienced woman of the world. Irene is just freckles and hair.

Germ: (At the hospital) I asked for you, you know.
Ashley: Lucky me. I feel just like the pretty hooker in a Vegas whorehouse.

Berg: If you are about done I could use a break.
Ashley: How many times have you told Irene that?
Berg: I really wish you would stop making jokes about it.
Ashley: And how many times have you told Irene that?

Ashley: OK, you've had your fun now get off me.
Berg: Boy does that bring back memories.

Johnny: If I could think of something mean and clever to say I would so say it right now!

Johnny: Sweetie, we don't make enough money for you to help others.

Pete: I have a professional question, how badly does something have to be burnt before I can take it home?

Sharon: Hey Johnny, there you are. PBS called, they want you to be on 'This Old Lazy Husband.'

Sharon: I can't believe it only took you one hour. It has taken my husband two days.
Carpenter: I'm sorry, is he disabled?

Johnny: I take a lot of pride in doing this myself, my great grandfather built the house I grew up in.
Sharon: Well dig him up, you need help.

Sharon: I had such a hectic morning. I had to get my nails done, then I had to go to yoga, then get my hair highlighted...I really just need an hour for myself.

Ashley: Well Germ, you seem normal, well as close as I can determine without actually touching you.