Two Guys and a Girl Season 3 Episode 16

Berg: I may not be the prize cow at the county fair and I know a lot of you think I'm not worth spit, but I beg to differ. I think I'm worth tonnes of spit.

Berg: Did you see that guy hogging the spotlight?
Pete: I know, it just sickens me when a sports hero takes time out of his busy schedule to raise money for kids.

Sharon: I was worried you weren't coming, where have you been?
Berg: Sorry, Sharon, I passed a mirror on the way over.

Berg: Pete, all eyes are on you... because you are standing next to me
Pete: Your fly is down
Berg: I know, whatever it takes.

Berg: Now if you'll excuse me, I have two days to get a butt.

Germ: Thanks for helping me get this orderly gig. How long do I have to work here before they make me a doctor?

(Ashley kisses Pete on the cheek)
Pete: Aaaaah! Berg! It burns!

Ashley: Pete, hey, isn't a beautiful day?
Pete: I don't know, why don't you go away and I'll find out.

Sharon: Everything has to go.
Berg: But what if butt ugly comes back into style?