Two of a Kind

Season 1 Episode 5

Breaking Them Up is Hard to Do

Aired Unknown Oct 23, 1998 on ABC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Breaking Them Up is Hard to Do
Mary-Kate and Ashley become worried about losing Carrie when their father, Kevin, starts dating a woman named Marci. So, to prevent that from happening, they come up with a plan to break them up.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (6)

      • It's surprising that Kevin wasn't more alarmed when Mary-Kate came in and said that Ashley went through the whole bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Having that much at one time could have really hurt her--but instead of freaking out about that, Kevin just went out and got more.

      • Hallie Todd, who plays Marci, went on to portray the mother in Hilary Duff's breakout Disney Channel series Lizzie McGuire.

      • Marci doesn't seem to have a good memory. When she met the girls, she already knew that the sick one was Ashley, and the one that opened the door was Mary-Kate, but later, when Kevin asks her who lied to her, she couldn't remember the names.

      • In one scene, Max asks Kevin who Marci is, and he answers: "She's a woman I've gone out with a few times," but when he said this, he had only gone out with her once.

      • The Burkes live in Chicago, but in this episode you can see the World Trade Center in New York.

      • In the living room, Ashley says that she might be able to force down a slice of pizza. When you look into the box, it is empty.

    • QUOTES (32)

      • Ashley: (doing aerobics with Carrie and Mary-Kate) You're killing me here, Carrie!
        Mary-Kate: Suck it up, soldier.
        Ashley: You suck it up!
        Carrie: I told you guys this workout is tough. I do this five days a week. The other two, I'm in traction.

      • Marci: (about meeting the girls) I hope I made a good impression.
        Kevin: Well, what's important is to impress their father. Did you make all this food yourself?
        Marci: Would that impress you?
        Kevin: Maybe.
        Marci: Well, then, maybe I made it.

      • Kevin: You want me to stay home, kiddo?
        Ashley: No, Dad, you go ahead and--can you guys stop spinning around?
        Kevin: Okay, lie down, honey.
        Ashley: I'm not lying down?

      • Kevin: Okay, here you go, Ashley. Some ginger ale and some yummy Saltines!
        Ashley: You know, Dad, I'm feeling a little better. Maybe I could force down a slice of pizza.
        Kevin: Hmm....well, you don't have a fever, but I think this will be easier on your stomach, and nobody wants to see projectile pepperoni.
        Mary-Kate: What's for dessert, Dad?
        Kevin: Oh, I'll make you a banana split. Oh, and Ashley, I'll get you some more Pepto Bismol.

      • Kevin: If you two weren't okay with me dating, why didn't you say so when I asked you?
        Mary-Kate: You want to field that one, Ashley?
        Ashley: What was I supposed to say--"It's weird that you're dating"?
        Kevin: Sure, if that's how you feel.
        Ashley: Okay. It's weird that you're dating.

      • Marci: I'm gonna go check on your sister.
        Mary-Kate: Oh, well, then, I'll just grab us a couple beers.

      • Ashley: Marci, is my tongue red? (Opens her mouth and gets close to Marci)
        Marci: Well, let's just look at that. Oh... no... I think it's fine. Exactly what happened to the cats?

      • Ashley: No offense, Carrie, but I know that when I'm sick, I always feel better when Dad's here. He's like our rock!

      • Mary-Kate: You were amazing, Ashley! That dizzy thing was genius!
        Ashley: Thanks. I was gonna go with aches and pains, but that's so overdone.

      • Kevin: Where are you going?
        Marci: Home. Just met Carrie.
        Kevin: Oh, Carrie's here?
        Marci: Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed.
        Kevin: Did she say something to offend you?
        Marci: What offends me is that you never mentioned her.
        Kevin: Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, I took out an ad, and Carrie showed up. I mean, it's just a coincidence that she happened to be a student of mine.
        Marci: She's your student?
        Kevin: Yeah, and whenever she's too busy with her studies, I just call Mrs. Baker.
        Marci: Who's Mrs. Baker?
        Kevin: My - My neighbor. Of course, she's 72, so she's not as much fun as Carrie, but -- she still gets the job done.
        Marci: Ohh! This is the most depraved thing I've ever heard!
        Kevin: I'm sorry. What?
        Marci: Well, it's bad enough that you're juggling more than one woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen? It's like -- Oh! Oh! Gaah! I hope you choke on that dinner I brought you, which, by the way, I did not make.

      • Marci: Uh, would you mind telling Kevin that I had to leave?
        Carrie: Okay. Nice meeting you.
        Marci: Nice meeting you, too. (Softly) You freak.

      • Marci: So I'm not around kids much. I hope I made a good impression.
        Kevin: What is important is to impress their father. Did you make all this food yourself?
        Marci: Would that impress you?
        Kevin: Maybe.
        Marci: Well, then, maybe I made it.

      • Mary-Kate: We're obviously dealing with a very desperate woman.
        Ashley: We need a plan so devious, so cunning, that she'll never bother us again.
        Mary-Kate: What are you thinking?
        Ashley: I got nothing. I just know that's what we need.

      • Kevin: Okay, Carrie, I left Marci's number by the phone. I should be home by 11:00.
        Carrie: 11:00? Ooh, aren't we the wild man?
        Kevin: I'm just going over there for dinner.
        Carrie: Well, maybe Marci has something special planned for dessert.
        Kevin: Ohh! Well, in that case, who knows when I'll be back. Could be really late. Could be dawn.
        Carrie: Ha, ha! So, I'll see you at 11:00.
        Kevin: Yeah, probably.

      • Kevin: Okay, Carrie, I'm taking off.
        Carrie: You're wearing a suit?
        Kevin: Marci and I are having dinner at La Tulipe.
        Carrie: Wow. On a first date?
        Kevin: Well, I wanted to take her some place special.
        Carrie: France might be cheaper.
        Kevin: Think it's too much for a first date?
        Carrie: No, no, no. It's a wonderful restaurant. A little snooty maybe, but the food is great. So, was Marci excited when you told her that's were you were going?
        Kevin: Actually, I'm going to surprise her.
        Carrie: Oh.
        Kevin: "Oh." What do you mean, "oh"?
        Carrie: Nothing.
        Kevin: No, no. "Oh" means something.
        Carrie: Well, I - I just hope Marci dresses up, so she doesn't feel out of place.
        Kevin: You know, whatever happened to "you look great, have fun"?
        Carrie: I'll shut up.
        Kevin: I doubt it.

      • Kevin: Listen, guys, I really have to talk to you about something. It's kind of important.
        Ashley: This isn't another sex talk, is it?
        Kevin: No. Believe me, I don't want to go through that again, even though you did clear up a few questions I had.
        Mary-Kate: At least we enjoyed the puppet show.
        Kevin: Well, that's why I'm here - to entertain.

      • Carrie: (About Marci) Wh-What's she like?
        Kevin: Well, she's very nice. She's smart.
        Eddie: She means is she built?
        Carrie: That is not what I wanted to know.
        Eddie: Well, that's what I want to know. Is she built?

      • Kevin: Oh, Carrie, can you sit for the girls on Friday night?
        Carrie: Sure.
        Eddie: What are we doing on Friday night?
        Kevin: I don't know what you're doing, but I've got a date.
        Eddie: With a woman?
        Kevin: No, with a lab animal. Hahaha. Of course with a woman!

      • (In Kevin's kitchen)
        Eddie: Hey, Carrie.
        Carrie: Hi, Eddie!
        Eddie: Where's Kev? We're supposed to watch a game.
        Carrie: He called. He's running late.
        Eddie: Oh. Anybody else home - Ashley, Mary-Kate? Anybody?
        Carrie: Nope. Just me, but I'm glad you're here. I need your opinion. I'm wallpapering my apartment. Okay, which do you like better, the floral print or the stripes?
        Eddie: I'd go with the stripes.
        Carrie: You would?
        Eddie: You were going to go with the floral, weren't you?
        Carrie: No, actually, I liked the stripes better, but now I'm not so sure.
        Eddie: Well, you know, personally, if you want my honest opinion, I really hate them both.
        Carrie: Oh, good! Stripes it is.

      • Ashley: See, Mary-Kate? I told you this Marci was trouble.
        Mary-Kate: I think I've got an idea!
        Ashley: How long will we be grounded?
        Mary-Kate: Six months to a year.
        Ashley: Keep thinking.

      • Kevin: If you were uncomfortable about me dating Marci, why didn't you say so when I asked you?
        Mary-Kate: You want to field that one, Ashley?

      • Ashley: (To Marci) I don't think I'm too contagious. (Coughs in her face)
        Mary-Kate: Don't trust her! Last year, she took out the whole sixth grade. She's got so many germs, that we can't even keep cats anymore.

      • Mary-Kate: (About the pizza) STOP! I am VERY disappointed in you. We're supposed to be saving Carrie's job. How could you be thinking about food?
        Ashley: Because I'm STARVING! Now gimme it!

      • Mary-Kate: We can't lose Carrie! She's like having a big sister!
        Brian: And she's real easy on the eyes, too!

      • Kevin: Come on, Taylor. I'll write you a check.
        Taylor: Yeah, uh, Mr. Burke, do you tip a pizza guy?
        Kevin: Yeah, why?
        Taylor: Just thought I'd put that out there.

      • Ashley: You know, Taylor, I really admire you sacrificing your afternoons to help Mary-Kate further her education.
        Taylor: I kind of just do it for the money.
        Ashley: Oh. Then I admire your ruthless ambition.

      • Kevin: But I'm a little worried about Mary-Kate and Ashley. I mean, I don't know how they're going to feel about me starting to date.
        Carrie: Just tell them the truth. I'm sure they'll let you know if they have any problems.
        Eddie: Yeah, just be sensitive. I took it pretty hard the first time I heard my old man was dating.
        Kevin: That's because he was still married to your mom.

      • Max: Who's Marci?
        Kevin: Well, Max, she's a woman I've gone out with a few times.
        Brian: Is she a babe?
        Kevin: Tell you what. I'll snap a polaroid. You can judge for yourself.
        Brian: Cool.

      • Mary-Kate: Who cares! Ashley's always sick. She loves the attention. She's dad's favorite, you know.
        Marci: Oh, I bet that's not true.
        Mary-Kate: Oh, believe me, he's always going out to get stuff for her, but he won't even pick me up a pack of cigarettes. You don't have a smoke on ya, do ya?
        Marci: Me? No, I don't smoke and I don't think that you should, either.
        Mary-Kate: Tell me about it... I'm thinking about getting the patch. (Later) I'll just get us a couple of beers.

      • Kevin: (To Marci) Hey, guess what the Korean word for "bismol" is?

      • Marci: (About Carrie) She's their babysitter? Well, your daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.
        Kevin: Which daughter?
        Marci: I don't know. The one who smokes.

      • Carrie: Hey, Mary-Kate, how's the math tutoring going?
        Mary-Kate: Pretty well. Taylor's doing such a good job, my math teacher thought I cheated on my last math quiz.
        Carrie: You must be very proud.

    • NOTES (1)

      • This is the only appearance of Marci, Kevin's date, in the entire series. She is never seen or mentioned again in any other episode.

    • ALLUSIONS (0)