Two of a Kind Season 1 Episode 15

Ashley: I wonder what video I should tell Eric to rent for Sunday night.
Carrie: Well, he's a guy. So I would make sure there's either a gun or a bikini on the box.

Mary-Kate: Ashley, Eric's not your type. All he cares about is sports, sports, and sports--in that order!

Ashley: Paul, are all men so shallow?
Paul: Shallow is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of myself more as "selectively deep."

Mary-Kate: No, Ashley. When a player gets hit in basketball, it's called a foul.
Ashley: I thought when the ball goes out of bounds it's a foul.
Mary-Kate: No, it's called a foul when a ball goes out of bounds in baseball.
Ashley: Then what's it called when a ball goes out of bounds in basketball?
Mary-Kate: Out of bounds.
Ashley: Now that makes sense.
Mary-Kate: It all makes sense!

Ashley: So, what's your favorite song?
Eric: That's easy! Theme song to SportsCenter. Give me another one!
Ashley: Eric, this isn't a game. It's an actual conversation.

Ashley: Hey, Eric? Let's pause this for a sec and talk.
Eric: Hang on. Jordan's about to dunk.
Ashley: It's a tape!