Two of a Kind

Season 1 Episode 1

Putting Two 'n Two Together

Aired Unknown Sep 25, 1998 on ABC
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Episode Summary

Putting Two 'n Two Together
With Kevin teaching later hours, he needs a babysitter to watch the girls. However, Mary-Kate and Ashley are tired of having a babysitter, especially if it's Mrs. Baker. After meeting Carrie, one of Kevin's students, they change their minds and devise a way to keep Mrs. Baker busy so she won't have time to watch them. Even with their plan becoming a success, Kevin still has high doubts about hiring Carrie.moreless

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • Goof: When Carrie leaves the house after baby-sitting the girls for the first time, they are in their room talking to their dad about how great she is. Mary-Kate says "On Wednesday, she even had me doing extra credit." How is that possible if this was the first night Carrie baby-sat?

    • In the girls' bedroom, they have a big original movie poster for the 1997 blockbuster film "Titanic," which was very popular at the time that this episode was filmed. The poster stayed there for the entire series.

  • QUOTES (27)

    • Kevin: I come home to find my house empty, no message, and no note from their baby-sitter!
      Carrie: Well, I'm sorry, but we were only ten minutes late.
      Kevin: Ten minutes when I had no idea where my daughters were! You'd be surprised what kind of things go through a father's mind in ten minutes!

    • Kevin: Mrs. Baker, I don't understand. Two days ago, you were thrilled to get this job!
      Mrs. Baker: Well, two days ago, watching Regis and Kathy Lee was the highlight of my life. Now I'm in a relationship.
      Kevin: I only need you for a few hours in the afternoon.
      Mrs. Baker: Sorry, but those are Henry's best hours.

    • Max: How can that old lady be your baby-sitter? I mean, her bed time is before yours!

    • Kevin: You know every year I have that one student that I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. This year I have a feeling it's gonna be you.
      Carrie: (laughs) You never know!

    • Ashley: I mean, you're the best dad in the whole world.
      Mary-Kate: Yeah, it's just that there are some things that are easier for us to talk to a woman about.
      Kevin: I understand that. I mean, as you girls get older, there are going to be a lot more awkward moments between us. But I want you to know that no one loves you as much as I do, and there's nothing you can't talk to me about.

    • Kevin: Carrie, my little girls aren't little girls anymore. They're growing up.
      Carrie: Scary, huh?
      Kevin: Very.

    • Carrie: It still doesn't beat four of a kind.
      Ashley: Boy, when we were little, Full House beat everything!

    • Kevin: I didn't know you liked a boy. How come you didn't tell me about this Pokey Valentine?
      Ashley: I don't know.
      Kevin: But you felt comfortable enough telling Carrie?
      Mary-Kate: Hello, Carrie's a girl!

    • Carrie: I'm sorry, Professor. I--I'm sure that when you get to know me better--
      Kevin: I don't plan on getting to know you better.
      Carrie: So you're firing me?
      Kevin: Carrie, when I'm not around, I need to know that my girls are being taken care of, and I don't get that from you.
      Carrie: Professor--
      Kevin: Good night, Carrie.

    • Ashley: Where are we going?
      Carrie: To watch a Cubs game.
      Mary-Kate: A Cubs game, what are we going to learn from them?
      Carrie: Nothing, but the Braves are in town.

    • Carrie: (to Kevin) This would be the perfect job for me. Here's my resume, and most of it is true!

    • Kevin: Look, we both know that we get on each other's nerves.
      Carrie: You don't get on my nerves.
      Kevin: Okay, let me rephrase that. We both know that you get on my nerves.

    • (On Carrie's roof)
      Carrie: What are you really doing up here?
      Kevin: Actually, I came to apologize.
      Carrie: You don't have to apologize. I kept the girls out too late. You had every right to fire me.
      Kevin: I know that, but -
      Carrie: Now, you didn't have to be so mean about it. That you could apologize for.
      Kevin: I was worried to death!
      Carrie: You didn't have to yell.
      Kevin: I never yell!
      Carrie: You're yelling now!
      Kevin: I'm watching a... ball game! Go, Cubs!

    • Ashley: Hey, guys. Bad news. Dad hired Mrs. Baker to watch us after school.
      Jessica: What happened to Carrie?
      Ashley: She's history. The only way we're gonna see her again is if something happens to Mrs. Baker.
      Brian: I know some pretty tough guys in seventh grade.
      Mary-Kate: Brian, you dork.

    • Kevin: Oh, by the way... I decided to hire Mrs. Baker full-time to watch you girls after school.
      Mary-Kate: Mrs. Baker? But she's so old.
      Ashley: Yeah, dad. We can't even talk to her. She's like... generation "A."

    • Kevin: Girls. Are you taking all that stuff up to the attic? Who are you feeding up there, the Donner party?
      Mary-Kate: I'm sure that'd be funny... if I knew what you were talking about.
      Ashley: I know what he's talking about. It's not funny.

    • Ashley: Dad, dad, we found the perfect person to watch us after school. Right, Mary-Kate?
      Mary-Kate: Yeah, she's great. She can do all the girlie stuff with Ashley and all the cool stuff with me.
      Kevin: My God. Somebody you both like. Maybe I'll marry her.
      Carrie: Professor Burke!
      Kevin: Maybe not.

    • Max: (To Mary-Kate & Ashley) How can old lady Baker be your baby-sitter? I mean, her bedtime is before yours.

    • Kevin: (To class) So, you see, the earth has always had a greenhouse effect to keep the air warm. Of course, if it gets any warmer, the polar caps will melt, the oceans will rise, and passing this class will be the least of your worries.

    • (On Carries roof)
      Kevin: Carrie?
      Carrie: Professor. What-What are you doing here? Making sure the Cubs are in bed by 9:00?

    • Kevin: Hey! Who won?
      Ashley: (Pretending to be Mary-Kate) We did. And Ashley got the winning hit.
      Mary-Kate: (Pretending to be Ashley) Yeah, I hit a rope right up the middle.
      Kevin: A rope... right up the middle.
      Carrie: That's a single to center.
      Kevin: Oh, I know what it is... but Ashley doesn't.

    • Mary-Kate: (On the phone) I don't care if you're hurt, Brian. You're our cleanup hitter. Well, haven't you heard of playing in pain? You are such a wuss. (Hangs up)
      Ashley: What's wrong with Brian?
      Mary-Kate: Compound fracture. He's wimping out on Monday's ball game. You're gonna have to play, Ashley.
      Ashley: Uh-uh. No way.
      Carrie: What's the problem? Why don't you want to play?
      Ashley: Because I'm awful. I stink. All the boys will see that I can't hit.
      Mary-Kate: They know you can't hit.

    • Max: Ooh, rejected. In your face disgrace.
      Mary-Kate: Hey, Max, somebody wants you across the street.
      Max: Who?
      Mary-Kate: Me!

    • Ashley: (About Pokey Valentine) He doesn't even know I like him.
      Mary-Kate: He will tommorow.
      Ashley: You're dead!

    • Mr. Fillmore: Something wrong, Mary-Kate?
      Mary-Kate: Sorry for staring, Mr. Filmore, but I just don't see it.
      Mr. Fillmore: See what?
      Mary-Kate: Mrs. Baker said you look like Mel Gibson. But... it's probably just because she has the hots for you.
      Mr. Fillmore: Now, what kind of language... the hots for me?

    • Brian: You know when my mom gets off my back? When she has a boyfriend.
      Mary-Kate: Who's gonna want to go out with a 70-year-old lady?
      Ashley: A 70-year-old man?

    • Mary-Kate: I can't believe Miss Tandy gave us homework on the first day.
      Max: You got Tandy for seventh grade? You're toast. Last year, she gave me homework, and I wasn't even in her class.

  • NOTES (3)


    • Kevin: Just give her a chance. I hear she used to baby-sit Leonardo DiCaprio!

      Leonardo DiCaprio is an actor who is perhaps best known for playing the lead role in the 1997 film Titanic.

    • Mary-Kate: When we were little, full house beat everything.
      Carrie has four of a kind while playing poker. She explains that 4 of a kind still beats full house. The girls did the show Full House when they were little.