Two of a Kind

Season 1 Episode 18

Welcome Matt

Aired Unknown Mar 12, 1999 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • Goof: At the very end of the episode, the words '7th Grade' are printed atop the yearbook, and there is a photograph of the twins teacher who is clearly male. However, in the pilot, the twins are starting their first day of seventh grade and Mary-Kate states; 'I can't believe MISS Tandy gave us homework on the first day'.

    • When the girls wake up to find the ink on Ashley's face, Mary-Kate is wearing black socks, but a few moments later, when they're in the kitchen, her socks are white.

    • When Matt takes the girls to the hockey match, Kevin, Carrie, and Nancy are at the house worried. Then Kevin sees Mary-Kate hurt on TV and goes with Carrie to the match, but neither of them bothers to tell Nancy, who is in the kitchen with no idea of what's going on.

  • Quotes

    • Kevin: (to Matt, who is uncertain of his future) You know, I remember how I felt four years ago, when Jan died. Suddenly I was left all alone to raise two little girls. You helped me through that. I'll help you through this.

    • Kevin: (about Matt and his immaturity) It's just that he's got so much potential! He's smart, he's talented, he's got charisma to burn.
      Carrie: Sounds like you kind of admire him.
      Kevin: I do.

    • Kevin: Oh, this is just typical Matt. I mean, just when you think you can depend on him to be undependable, he turns around and lets you down.

    • Carrie: (About Matt) Didn't he leave a note?
      Kevin: Of course not. That would be the responsible thing to do. It would mean being considerate of other people's feelings.
      Carrie: What's this?
      Kevin: Looks like a note.

    • Matt: Kev, you wouldn't believe the morning I had.
      Kevin: I can't believe the afternoon you're having.

    • Mary-Kate: (About Ashley's mark on her face) It looks kinda like a tatoo of Texas.
      Kevin: Mary-Kate, please. If anything, it looks like Michigan.
      Carrie: Stop it, you two. I mean, it's a frog in a hat. You can see it if you just -
      Ashley: What's wrong with you people?!

    • Kevin: Hey, uh, listen, Matt, about yesterday, I hope I didn't come across too, uh -
      Matt: Pushy? Critical? Judgmental?
      Kevin: I was going to say concerned, but okay.

    • Kevin: Listen, Matt, while you were lighting up the sky, did you give any thought to finding a job?
      Matt: Kev, don't get on my now. I just got here. I'm still jet-lagged.
      Kevin: You drove from Colorado.
      Matt: Okay, I'm car-lagged.

    • Kevin: You don't know Matt. He averages about 8 jobs a year.
      Carrie: Well, people can change. He said that that was a wake-up call.
      Kevin: That's what he said about the light plane crash in the Rockies, being arrested in Tijuana, and running with the bulls.
      Carrie: Oh, in Pamplona? I did that.
      Kevin: No, this was Chicago. He backed into Dennis Rodman's car.

    • Matt: I don't know. This accident was like a wake-up call. I mean, it's time for me to get my life together. I was hoping I could stay here until I get on my feet.
      Kevin: Well, Matt, you're welcome to stay here for as long as you... W-We'll play it by ear.

    • Matt: (About his knee) Had a little ski accident on the slopes in Vail a few months ago.
      Carrie: What happened?
      Matt: I was giving this French couple a ski lesson when all of a sudden, bam! This kamikaze snow boarder crashes right into me.
      Carrie: Oh, my God!
      Matt: Yeah. Completely trashed my knee. Here. Check it out.
      Ashley: Gross!
      Mary-Kate: Any blood?
      Matt: Nah, but some pretty nasty sound effects - ligaments ripping, tendons snapping, French people screaming.

    • Matt: Hey, Kev, you're out of butter, and what's with this domestic beer?
      Mary-Kate & Ashley: Uncle Matt!
      Kevin: What are you doing here?!
      Matt: Apparently, drinking cheap beer.

    • Ashley: It is a pretty dress, isn't it, Carrie?
      Carrie: Of the 35 you tried on, it's definitely the prettiest.

    • Ashley: Look, dad, a fountain pen! Thanks, Uncle Matt! I've always wanted a fountain pen.
      Matt: Well, good. You're a lot harder to buy for than Mary-Kate.
      Mary-Kate: All right! Fireworks!
      Carrie: Oh! You know the way to a girl's heart. Are there any Screaming Meemies in there?
      Matt: Oh, yeah! I picked them up on my way from Colorado. Every item in that box is illegal in the state of Illinois.
      Kevin: I think we'll just put these away until... forever.

    • (After Carrie puts make-up on Ashley)
      Ashley: (Looking in a mirror) Oh, my god! I look like Grandma!

    • Mary-Kate: Hey, Ashley, at least you can try out for the school play. It's Phantom of the Opera!

    • Kevin: I'm sorry, but we have to leave here in 10 minutes.
      Carrie: I'll start over.
      Mary-Kate: (About Ashley's face) Do you have to? I was hoping we could drop by the playground and scare some little kids!

    • Matt: (To Kevin) And don't come back!
      (Kevin walks out of the house, but quickly returns)
      Kevin: This is my house.

    • (Carrie is fixing Ashley's hair for a school photo)
      Ashley: I don't know. Too Gwyneth Paltrow?
      Mary-Kate: What mirror are you looking in?

    • (Ashley accidentally falls asleep on a fountain pen, which leaves a stain)
      Mary-Kate: Whoa! Ashley, what's that on your cheek?
      Ashley: Oh, no! Class pictures are tomorrow! Don't tell me I have a zit!
      Mary-Kate: You wish. It looks like vandals snuck in last night and tagged your face.

  • Notes

  • Allusions