Ugly Betty Season 1 Episode 5

Amanda: If you get tired of watching Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin alone, I could come over and keep you company...in costume...or not.
Daniel: I think I just need to be alone tonight.
Amanda: Hey, we could just talk.
Daniel: Probably not.

Betty: (about Daniel) Amanda, if you knew who he was, why did you get so involved?
Amanda: I thought he would get sick of serial dating. I sure as hell am.
Betty: And what if he doesn't?
Amanda: He will. I'll just wait.

Amanda: (on the phone) Hi there, I'm calling from the Sutton Place Medical Group. One of our patients, Daniel Meade just left here and thought we should give you a call. The good thing about scabies is that if you treat the itching right away, there's little chance of them becoming open sores. You might want to call your doctor. Okay, bye.

Henry: (to Betty) Just something I know. One of several things in fact. Circumference of the earth, know it.
Amanda: And this concludes another episode of true but dull.

Daniel: Why is this such a problem for you? I'm an adult, okay, these women are adults, believe me, I checked. No one's getting hurt, I can sleep with a different woman every night of the week because...why not?
Betty: You know the Romans had a 9 day week, you would have been a really tired Centurian.

Marc: (walking out of Wilhelmina's office and bumping into Christina who is on her way in) Oh, she's a little fragile today so be nice.
Christina: I'm always nice.
Marc: You're never nice.
Christina: You know, you're right, I was thinking about somebody else.

Marc: Hola! Happy Halloween! (dressed as Betty Suarez)
Amanda: HAHAHAHA!!!
Wilhelmina: Marc! That is the absolute cruelest thing I've ever seen! (long pause) Someone's getting a raise.

Christina: Flit! It's what butterflies do.
Betty: Oh. I thought you were cursing at me in Scottish.

Ignacio: I've been using someone else's social security number for years, because I don't have one. You can't get one if you're in this country illegally…And I am.

Wilhelmina: I can't compete anymore with the bevy of 22 year old gym bodies. You starve yourself, you pull yourself, you inject yourself, you think you're safe, but they keep coming to the door younger and younger like a hail of bullets until down you go. Why is it such a crime to age in this business?
Christina: It's true! The standards for women are so punitive.
Wilhelmina: And whose fault is that? I set the standards. Lifetime achievement award, there's my achievement; it bit me in the ass, and the hips. Serves me right, huh?

Wilhelmina: I can't deny it anymore; it's happened. I've become a woman of a certain age.

(Talking about Daniel)
Betty: Don't you two have some kind of agreement?
Amanda: Yeah. He dates anything that moves and I agree to smile and take their messages. And now, I 'm sending them flowers too!

Betty: Does Daniel know that you feel this way about him?
Amanda: Please. He's Daniel Meade. Take a number and wait in line.

Betty: Was this all one big joke to you? Watching me run around the city in a butterfly costume, getting underwear thrown at my head, all for laughs.
Amanda: Does it look like I'm laughing?
Betty: Then why didn't you say something if you had this watch the entire time?
Amanda: Why? Maybe because I was hoping that Monday night was the one night of the week that your boss would remember...Stupid me huh?

Betty: You need to stop me from going to see Henry!
Christina: I thought you were resolved on that?
Betty: I was! Tell that to my finger. (holding up finger) My finger wants me to push the button to Henry's floor! It wants me to tell him that I had a wonderful time today!
Christina: Ooh, cheeky finger.
Betty: What's wrong with me? I'm turning into Daniel, that's what! Soon I'm going to be able to juggle people's hearts like fruit and still sleep well at night.
Christina: Number one you're nothing like Daniel, and number two he doesn't really do much sleeping which is why he loses expensive jewelry and can't remember who he shagged Monday night!

Wilhelmina: Ow! Ow!!
Christina: Sorry.
Wilhelmina: What are you doing back there?! Did you screw up the zipper?
Christina: The zipper is not the problem. The lack of pulley and several burley men, that's the problem.

Claire Meade: So why are you here?
Daniel: Just to talk.
Claire Meade: Well I've been right here any time you've wanted to come.
Daniel: I've just been very busy the last couple of weeks.
Claire Meade: Almost four. They like to tell you just how many days you've been in so it passes by more slowly. Today is sponsored by the number 26.
Daniel: I want to talk about Faye Summers.
Claire Meade: Then I'm going to need a lunch someplace where they're not serving pudding cups.

Claire Meade: And this is where we come to lose ourselves in the classics
Daniel: It's a nice collection.
Claire Meade: Nothing like making people in detox read stories cooked up by a bunch of drunks. Did your father tell you they confiscated my perfume?
Daniel: I guess they are worried you might…
Claire Meade: What? Drink it?

Mark: So your date last night went well?
Wilhelmina: Oh yes…Jason dipped his toe into Lake Wilhelmina and let's just say the water was very warm.
Mark: I'm not really sure I want to know what that means.