Season 1 Episode 15

Hal and Hillary

Aired Tuesday 8:30 PM Mar 05, 2002 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (Lucien sees Perry duct taped to the ping-pong table)
      Lucien: What happened?
      Perry: "What happened" what? Oh, I strapped myself here. I have a girl coming by to pleasure me in a few minutes.
      Lucien: Are you serious?
      Perry: No! You moron! Untie me!

    • (About Kikuki)
      Marshall: She doesn't speak any English. She's like all Japanese.
      Ron: She doesn't speak any English? That's unbelievable. Hey, itt's like you found the perfect girl.

    • Rachel: Well I mean it will never last. She's got the boobs of a six year old, and she's like dumb.
      Lloyd: Well, I don't think a dumb girl is necessary wrong for Marshall.
      Ron: Yea and I don't even think she's dumb necessarily. She just seems dumb because she's foreign, like Lloyd.

    • Ron: Dude, Marshall never came home last night.
      Lloyd: Maybe he hooked up last night.
      Ron: Yeah, yeah. Maybe he's dead.

    • Lizzie: My psych professor would say this is typical behavior for a divorced man. He's just seeking affection.
      Lloyd: Ruining your son's life is typical behavior? Your professor's a dope

    • Hillary: I don't like to be the bad guy. I confiscate their bongs for a reason. It's just, Hal, would you do me a favor?
      Hal: Anything.
      Hillary: Dare to believe in yourself.

    • Lucien: (To Hillary) So, if you need any help, I could help you with the human pretzel ice-breaker, you know. It could be fun.

    • Hal: Steven, it's the police! Ha, ha. Just kidding. It's your father. Remember me?

  • Notes

  • Allusions