Season 1 Episode 1

Prototype (Pilot)

Aired Tuesday 8:30 PM Sep 25, 2001 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Steven states that he grew 7 inches over the summer break. When he first meets Ron and Marshall they ask him how tall he is. He states that he's 6'1, which means he would have been 5'6 when he graduated high school.

    • Steve loses his virginity (to Lizzie) in the pilot episode.

  • Quotes

    • Hal: Oh I'm so sorry that I worked and supported you for twenty years, I should have been learning to salsa dance so you wouldn't feel dead inside.

    • Marshall: Hey, do you know how to do laundry?
      Rachel: Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you hold my hand?
      Marshall: Yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
      Rachel: It's just... I'm having a panic attack and it usually goes away if I hold somebody's hand and I tell them I'm having a panic attack.
      Marshall: OK. OK.
      Rachel: I got... I gotta get outta here.
      Marshall: Uh, no, no. It's OK. It's OK. Um, I'll distract you. Um, I'm studying music. What's your major?
      Rachel: I don't know yet. I haven't decided.
      Marshall: You haven't picked a major yet!?
      (Frantically) God, what are you trying to do to me?

    • (Steven is talking to a group of people at their party)
      Steven: So I said, 'Mountain Dew? Mountain Don't!'

    • Lloyd: What's your major?
      Steven: Oh, I'm like undeclared, for the time being. You know, just checking stuff out, kind of.

    • Steven: What are you guys playing? What's the game?
      Marshall: We can't tell you, because then we couldn't play anymore.

    • (Steven enters his dorm room, where Ron and Marshall are drinking beers)
      Marshall: Wattage is what matters. It's the wattage.
      Ron: Amps are completely meaningless now. It's wattage.
      Steven: Hey, how's it going?
      Marshall and Ron: Hey!
      Ron: Hey, you live here?
      Steven: Yep, I think so.
      (Marshall points at Ron, telling him to drink)
      Marshall: I told you. I told you.
      Ron: I know. OK, OK.

    • Jack: You and a girl?
      Steven: Yeah, exac.. Yeah, why not? Exactly because, because, these girls at college, they don't know me, they don't know who I am.
      Jack: Yeah, they don't know that you threw up on the bus in fifth grade.
      Steven: Exactly!
      Jack: Or that you had to have your finger reattached after that wood shop...
      Steven: The point is, I'm tall and handsome, and I've gained weight and I've, like, finally got a fashion sense. Man, it's like the beginning of a whole new era.

    • Steven and Jack are at a barbershop. Steven points at a picture of a hairstyle he wants.
      Steven: Yep, that's the one I want.
      I grew 7 inches Senior Year. Like, I don't know how tall you are or whatever, but, like, man, everything from here up... it's all new. 60% of all people meet their spouses at college. That means my future wife could be, like, seated right beside me.

    • Hal: (Rubbing his exposed belly) I have the gut of an 18 year old.
      Ron: (Rubbing his own exposed belly) I have the gut of a 48-year old.

    • Lizzie: Do you have a condom?
      Steven: I have eight condoms. (Steven laughs nervously.)

    • Lucien: (Reading his poem to Rachel) If you enter my room full of tears, my hope is you leave with a smile.
      If you enter my room glowing with love, my hope is to share in your love. So when your feeling low, just knock on my door and say hello.

    • Ron: Hey Mr. Karp, Where you going? You should party with us, huh?
      Hal: Oh no, I got to go.
      Ron: Oh, what your wife will get made if you come home late?
      Hal: Where's the keg?

    • Ron: Steven, you're supposed to ask ugly guys. Hot girls, ugly guys okay ugly.
      Steven: Well, um, uh.
      Ron: He's going to take all our women.

    • Hal: Hey, nice fancy haircut. You should join those Backstreet Boys. Watch out ladies.

    • Ron: There's a scrunchie on the door.
      Lloyd: (shocked) And I'm not in there.

    • Lloyd: Why didn't you take her salsa dancing?
      Hal: Because I didn't want to...
      Lloyd: Hal, it's never too late to make a new beginning. Go call her.

    • Steve: (crying) I'm sorry, I'm just so happy to be here.
      Lizzie: Really?

    • Hal: Now Steven, I don't want you to be concerned by this, but your mother is considering the idea of a divorce.

    • Ron: (to girl) So I guess we live on the same floor. (no response) Well I do, I don't know where you live.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Catherine Zeta-Jones: Hal tells Ron that he wants to meet Susan Zeta-Jones, actress Catherine Zeta-Jones' "hotter, younger sister."

    • Backstreet Boys: Hal tells Steve that he should join the Backstreet Boys after he gets a new "hipper" haircut.