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OOOOOOOOKAAAAAAAYYY… so, give it to me straight, you guys: is Under the Dome one of those shows you continue to watch just to see how truly awful it can get? Is it a Revolution? Do you love to hate it?

When I first boarded this wacka-doo mystery train, I figured “sure, this show has a pretty big fan base, and it got a season 2, so it must be pretty okay.”*sigh* You guys mislead me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still having fun. What other show makes you laugh out loud without even trying?

As I mentioned in my recap of Episodes 1-3, this was my first time watching the show, and I recapped episode by episode, so these are real-time reactions. As of right now, I do not know what terror awaits me in episode 7. So, let's take a moment or twelve to appreciate the first season, and refresh our memories about what the heck happened in episodes 4 - 6.

“Outbreak”

Well, thanks be to the TV Deities, Angie’s getting out of the bomb shelter! Honestly, guys, I was starting to fear she’d be in that thing the entire season. How many soothing teas did Britt Robertson have to drink after filming those scenes? It sounds like her throat is being ripped apart when that poor girl screams, and they had her doing it for four episodes. But that’s over now, because Big Jim found her (unless something stupid happens and Junior somehow locks them both in).

The episode began with a passive aggressive morning betwixt Julia and our anti-hero. She was onto him and he could feel the ice flowing through her veins.

The town was rioting because the army was leaving, and they showed their anger by throwing eggs at the dome.

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Let’s just examine this for a quick sec - the army is driving away, and the citizens of Dome Creek think splattering eggs on THEIR SIDE of an invisible wall is going to make a difference. Now who’s going to have to clean that up?

Oh, and the new sheriff collapsed.

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It seemed like Angie had Junior believing that she was “getting better”, and may even let her out, and then she attacked him with some scissors. I’m really starting to question this girl’s decision making skills. Then she finally noticed a vent (it had been there the whole time, right?) and screamed for help.

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Oh, Angie. Back at the hospital, we found out that A) Samantha Mathis has been underutilized until this episode, and B) they don’t have enough antibiotics.

Sidenote - remember Pump Up the Volume? *wistful sigh* Classic Samantha Mathis… #neverforget

Julia cornered Barbie and asked him about being a lying liar, and he had the gall to be peeved that she went through his stuff. I think MURDER trumps the invasion of privacy, pal.

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Big Jim gave his teenage son a gun to make sure no one leaves the hospital during a very dangerous viral outbreak. I can’t… even… *shakes head* let’s just move on.

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The nice teacher insisted Linda get the medicine instead of her, and even though we were never doubtful of Linda’s inevitable recovery, this was still a very touching and sad moment.

Barbie and Big Jim found the reverend burning all the meds, because that is a logical, sane thing to do.

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Guys, people are going crazy for the sake of being crazy. It’s bugging me. Case in point: Reverend Looney Tunes. Ugh, anyway.

Then Junior made everyone calm the eff down with a heartfelt speech.

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Julia bamboozled info out of the trendy DJ, slipped through Junior’s air-tight defenses and found the cabin!

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She had a hallucination of her husband, and I really felt bad for the actor that his character died with that particular haircut.

The kids dove into some tomfoolery by touching again and going into their simultaneous seizure act. This time Joe sat up and did a “shush” to the camera, and they decided not to tell anyone because THE DOME DOESN’T WANT THEM TO. That actually sent shivers over my entire body / brain / soul.

Then this disaster of a conversation happened:

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Poor Linda, you don’t know what nut-bars you’re getting in league with!

Our anti-hero saved Julia from dying in the cabin, and they had a heart to heart.

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At this juncture I would like to point out that it’s been about 4 days since they met. Sooo…

The super creepy reverend popped by Big Jim’s house to give back the spoils of their treachery, and then Big Jim made a rather startling discovery:

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YES! Praise Zeus! Angie is getting out of the shelter!


"Blue on Blue"

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I audibly groaned when Angie was STILL IN THE EFFING BUNKER. It was flooded the day before, right? Where did that water go? Was she sleeping on a damp moldy mattress?? What excuse did Big Jim give her for leaving her there all night?

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Ugh, I’m not mad at you, show, I’m just disappointed.

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Barbie sauntered over to the teens to check out the beautiful display of insects setting up camp across the dome, when they saw bus loads of civilians. It’s visitor’s day!

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Junior is ALREADY wearing a cop’s uniform?? It has been one day! ONE DAY. Wow. Like, setting aside the obvious plot flaws (did he even go through gun safety training?), how many spare cop uniforms do they have lying around that don’t have bullet holes in them and happen to be the perfect size for a growing 18 year old boy?

At Visitor’s Day, we learned Linda is a huge hypocrite, and Norrie has a surprise dad!

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Linda had JUST told Barbie not to let anyone touch the dome, and then she made out with it. I truly wonder what the dome tastes like. I wish she had commented.

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The crazy-for-no-reason reverend threatened to out Jim if he didn’t repent his sins. Okay, I’m gonna rant for approximately 4.2 seconds. There are A LOT of stereotypes going on. We’ve got small town homophobes, religious wack-jobs and sweet, grateful aunts of teenage witches. This reverend started out three dimensional - a man of God tweaker? Awesome. But then he turned into a “God is speaking to me through my hearing aide and we should all die in the name of blah blah blah the bible, blah blah rapture.”

I am not personally a very religious person, but if I were, I may be a bit offended by this insinuation that believing in a higher power makes you a nut-bar lunatic. Moving on.

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Because Barbie is some kind of military rock star, this fellow geeked-out and told him all the secrets (via Dodee who can do sign language and therefore can read lips even though she's not the deaf one and would never need to read lips - SHUT UP LOGIC!)

Anyway, they found out the army is blowing up the dome! Well, guess the show is over.

Big Jim finally let Angie go because they’re all going to die, and she may as well die a free woman. Firstly, that’s not the way to deliver bad news! Secondly, shouldn’t you have let her go REGARDLESS? Yikes, Big Jim, I worry about you.

Then we got a hot steaming plate of backstory. Apparently Barbie’s unit accidentally killed some of their own soldiers.

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Big Jim told Junior that he let Angie go, and he seemed strangely apologetic about it.

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Down in the tunnels there was a contest for cutest pre-dying exchange.

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“Phil, can I say something?”
“Anything in the whole world.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah?”
“Hmm.”
“I hate you too.”

Junior caught up with Angie, and I’m still unclear whether or not he’s going to try and drag her back to the shelter.

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*siiiiiiiiiiiigh* Okay.

But, in a shocking twist, the bomb did NOT blow up the dome and kill everyone! And maybe more importantly, some teens kissed!

Oh, and this:

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Big Jim killed the reverend!! Yiiiiiiiiiikes.


"The Endless Thirst"

The inhabitants of Dome Bay were pretty pumped to be alive, but also very concerned that not even a massive bomb could penetrate the dome.

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Linda tried to make Barbie one of her deputies, but he turned her down because he’s not into labels. He likes to keep his options open, ya know? Also, I LOVE (not sarcasm) that everyone turns to him for help in every situation. They’ve known him for a week, and he is a murderer. But you know what, I’m not even judging! If an ex-military jack-of-all-trades walked into one of MY life-threatening crisis’ looking like THAT, I would run to him constantly too.

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I absolutely loved how hard Linda was shipping these two, even though she knows full well Julia is married.

Alice started having hot flashes and got confused about their circumstances. She walked onto the road causing an excessively large truck to crash into the water supply. WHERE was that huge truck going? You live in a dome, Bernie, maybe just walk?

Guys, I was legitimately concerned for Alice this episode, mainly because of Samantha Mathis’ “guest star” status. I love Samantha Mathis. I want her to outlive every single person on this show, and maybe in real life, so when she started wigging out, I got very tense. Especially considering the death rate on this show (RIP Sheriff Duke).

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Big Jim does not have time for flaming water, he has an escaped girl to catch!

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This man is a cartoon. He refused to give the town water unless he got lots and lots of propane. (Ugh, propane…)

Angie ran to the diner where the sweet, lovable Rose believed her story and hugged her cares away.

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The town was turning into an angry mob, and one rioter dared to hit our anti-hero over the head with a can of tomato sauce.

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Barbie was 100% about to kill this man until Linda showed up and blatantly ignored it.

Then some boys broke into the diner and KILLED ROSE (my heart is still on the mend).

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Norrie and Joe were on a hunt for insulin, when they met this kid:

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This young fellow was very cavalier about the fact that strange teens were invading his home. I feel like his mom should be more on top of “stranger danger”. Anyway, Norrie showed she has a beating heart and only took enough insulin to keep her mom alive for another day.

Julia and Dodee teamed up to find the mysterious power source that was making all the radios squeal, and it lead them to our teens.

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Shit was seriously hitting the fan when it started to rain. Huzzah! Everyone instantly forgot that they had been beating on each other moments earlier and banded together to collect the water, like they weren’t even embarrassed.

Joe and Norrie touched the dome together and the radio started working again, leading Julia to a theory:

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Then they cured Samantha Mathis (thank you).

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You guys, they totally made out! How long has it been since her husband "left her"? We’re only 5 episodes in! I was expecting this hot slice of sexual tension to build for a while, but nope, they are diving right in! Man, I cannot WAIT until she finds out he murdered her husband.

Big Jim had an awkward heart to heart with Angie where he somehow negotiated his way out of a kidnapping wrap.

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Then Junior came home and the music swelled like this was some kind of cliffhanger.
It, in fact, was not.

Well… that was… um...

You know what, I still want to know what happens next. The source material was written by Stephen King, so the mystery to the dome has to be something cool, right? It has to!

See you guys next Monday for some more ridiculous absurdity!


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