Normally I don't go to the forums of a show I don't like just to bash it out of respect for fans of the show that DO enjoy it. Actually, this will be the first time I've EVER done it, so I hope anyone out there that actually enjoys Undercovers will forgive me. I guess I feel entitled to stop by, however, since I was a big fan of the show.........right up until I began to watch the pilot. Seriously, I was extremely excited about Undercovers - I looked forward to seeing it as much or more than any other show to hit the airwaves this season. I'm a big fan of JJ.......love Lost......love Fringe......enjoyed Alias (at least for the first couple of seasons - after that it got pretty awful and ridiculous but I still watched it as a bit of a guilty pleasure).........enjoyed his films although I'm a much bigger fan of his television projects. Anyhow, I looked forward to the premiere so very much.
I have to say, though, I am SORELY disappointed. Words cannot describe how awful I find this program. I absolutely abhor it when people call for the cancellation of a show they don't happen to enjoy. After all, you don't have to watch it! Why hope for something that will disappoint others that enjoy the program when it is doing you no harm? I find myself scanning the ratings information after watching the steaming pile of feces that masqueraded as "episode 2", however, looking for a headline I was sure would read "Undercovers becomes second casualty of the season - NBC puts biggest embarrassment since Cavemen out of its misery". Alas, it was not there, and now I have resigned myself to the cruel punishment of having to watch episode 3, being the optimist that I am, hoping the first two were simply some sort of evil Halloween prank and that the REAL Undercovers will begin in all its wondrous glory beginning next week.
I didn't think it possible to be more annoyed, frustrated, and dismayed than I was after the Pilot episode. After watching the farce they call episode 2, however, I have moved past disappointment to anger. I can only liken my viewing experience to watching a sporting event where your favorite team, in a game of utmost importance, seems to do EVERYTHING wrong to the extent you're sure as you sit there watching that were you to be teleported out onto the field, YOU could do a better job. This was the feeling I got while watching Undercovers. Never have I seen a project by such a quality producer end up as such a hodgepodge of wretched acting, atrocious storylines, cringe-inducing "humor", intelligence-insulting plot devices, detestable characters, and irritating dialog. What the heck Abrams was thinking when he concocted this abomination is beyond me.
Where shall I start in describing what I didn't like about this stinker? Perhaps it would be quicker to list the things that I DID like? Nothing? How about things I found tolerable? Neat locations I suppose.......although I'd MUCH rather watch the Travel Channel to see pretty locales than subject myself to more of this festering boil bursting from the nose of NBC's fall schedule. The writing is SO horrendous. The show doesn't seem to know if it wants to be a straight comedy or a serious spy-themed serial drama, and the writers' indecision causes it to fail miserably at both. The characters are all horribly miscast. These bumbling buffoons are supposed to be seasoned spies? They'd be more believable as caterers - or circus clowns. They spend more time thinking up not-so-clever wisecracks and bickering amongst each other than working the case they're assigned. It becomes so annoying watching them cycle through their "argue - make cute "spy-couple" joke - get jealous - make miraculous deduction to advance the case - move on to next scene" formula that I wanted to extract the hair from my scalp by the fistful. Throughout the first episode I kept thinking "at least they didn't add some ridiculous unfunny sidekick to make even more stupid jokes". Oops. They saved that extra little turd.......err.........I mean tidbit for the SECOND episode! Oh joy!
Speaking of sidekicks, that guy is more annoying than Jar-Jar. The way he kept saying "made sex" to the chagrin of Steven!?! You could tell the actor or writer or whomever thought his lines up thought it was SO clever and hilarious. His only function in the show is to be a walking cliche. His voice and attitude are like nails on a chalkboard. He overacted his scenes to such an extent that he made a complete farce out of every scene he participated in.
I could go on and on - maybe I'll add more tomorrow - but it's late and I'm going to put this review out of its misery like what should have been done to this show when those in charge first laid eyes on the stinker of a pilot. I'm curious though - are all the other Abrams fans here as disappointed as I am? Does everyone else find it so cliched and all aspects so completely atrocious and insulting to your intelligence as to actually become angry while watching it? Post and vote here.
My final grade?
Rotten to the core, inside and out........through and through............
If it were a Halloween candy it would have a loathsome, putrescent, tooth-chipping, stone-like exterior shell with a soft, gooey turd at its delectable center.........