United States of Tara Season 1 Episode 8

Marshall: I hate labels. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if there were no labels on anything in the store?
Jason: Pretty random basically.
Marshall: Yes, okay. So people would take the stuff home and they would make it and eat it before they even knew if they liked it or not.
Jason: And I bet a lot of people would throw out a bunch of stuff that sucked.
Marshall: And I assert that the same amount of people if not more would find new things. New things that they loved.

Demon Tour Guide: That's right! This is where they all end up! In Hell! A hell far worse than you ever could've imagined. Homos! Racists! Gavin Newsom! Movie stars! Vegans! Butt-fucking fruits!

(Tara just found out that there is another alter ego)
Tara: Tell me. Tell me everything now. What's her name. (Max doesn't answer) Oh jeez, it's another dude. Great. I'm such a lesbian.
Max: It's not a dude. It's...
Tara: What?
Max: We're not sure. It's animalistic. Pure id I guess.
Tara: Okay, you're making me sound like an evil, rabid squirrel or something.
Max: Yeah. Well, it's kinda like that. But the size of you.

Alice: (overjoyed) It's pink, it's pink! I knew it! We're having a girl!
Max: (to Charmaine) That's negative, right?
Charmaine: Yeah, it's pink no matter what. There'd be a plus sign if there was an actual baby.

Charmaine: I just don't want to be there the day she tries to check herself into a hospital just to squish out an invisible baby. Maybe I do.

Alice: Times like this, I really wish Tara taught me how to paint.
Charmaine: Tara can teach you things?
Alice: Of course, she can, silly. We're never too old to learn. I learn from all of them. Even T, even Buck.
Charmaine: Buck helped me a bunch last week. With my surgery.
Alice: I like him. He's such a wild man.

Alice: You know, Kate, I agree. That man was a real pooh head for firing you.
Kate: Right?
Alice: But there's something you may want to consider. You know how we were brought up to believe that men were the stronger sex made of hard, hairy muscles and granite and Irish spring?
Charmaine: Did she just say hard, hairy muscles?
Kate: Hairy muscles.
Alice: And ladies are supposed to be these mushy crybabies with sparkly pink insides? Well it turns out that men are highly emotional creatures. We must never humiliate them. They are vulnerable and needy. And their hearts are just as pink and mushy as ours, if not pinker and mushier.