Fitness Authority: Fat chance, fatty fatty fat.
Glendale Fitness welcomer: Rule number one: no fatties! This is a fitness community, and what makes it so special is that it's filled with normal sized humans!
Happy Bakery cashier: Here at Happy Bakery we don't eat happy things to make us happy. We eat things we want to get rid of to make us feel better.
Glendale Fitness Authority: Something smells like...meatball sub.
Fat man: I was just burning some meatball sub incense.
Fat man: That's against my rights.
Glendale Fitness welcomer: Let me check. Mm, no, it isn't!
Moleman: I need to eat live animals. Fish with scale, rat with hair. Live flesh...
Girlfriend: You're just afraid of commitment.
Man on Subway: Excuse me, are you wearing Moleman perfume? You smell just like a moleman.
Woman commuter: You think I smell like a homeless person?
Man on Subway: No ma'am, molemen aren't homeless. They live in the subway tunnels. Homeless people eat handouts, molemen eat rats. Big difference.
Moleman: Time to freak out!
Fitness Authority: Free chocolate! Free chocolate!
Fat Conductor: Can I go to a jail where the bars are made of provolone...?