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Upright Citizens Brigade Season 2 Episode 1

Master Dialectitian

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Episode Summary

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AIRED: 6/14/99

Trotter and Antoine play chess. Antoine needed motivation to beat Trotter, so every time he plays poorly, the computer stops his heart for a few seconds / A "Baby Runner" is born. A baby with the leg strength of a grown cheetah. Various attempts are made to capture the baby. Offers are made to race him in Mexico, and to give his parents a college track scholarship. / Sports guys argue about greatest matches of all time. / The Grand Master Dialectitian is introduced to Owen, to teach him new dialects. / A reel is run from 1933 of a Boxer fighting a horse. The horse wins. / The master dialectitian discovers that Owen is competing in the park, and wishes to enter the Dialect competition, which the master disapproves. The master winds up showing up anyway, and Owen wins the Dialect Competition with the Martian dialect. / A woman who is new to the neighborhood learns about baby wrestling and her daughter fights. People bet on a winnermoreless

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Cast & Crew: STARS

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Matt Besser	Adair, Various
Amy Poehler	Colby, Various
Ian Roberts	Antoine, Various
Matt Walsh	Trotter, Various

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TRIVIA (0)
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QUOTES (4)
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- Neighbor: This is a great neighborhood. There aren't any filthy astronauts around here.
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- Sports Guy: The greatest cross-species bout ever: 1980. Sea World. Roberto Duran, the man with the hands of stone, is lowered into a tank of water, where he proceeds to demoralize and knock out an entire school of hungry piranha.
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- Sports Guy: Thomas Edison versus Nicholas Tesla, DC versus AC. The night before Tesla demonstrates his AC electricity, Edison sneaks into Tesla's lab and severs his vocal cords. The next morning, Tesla tries to explain his electricity through mime - the crowd rushes the stage - eats him. DC wins.
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- Doctor: Mrs. Graham, that baby is like a gazelle on supercool.
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