Upright Citizens Brigade

Season 1 Episode 5

Poo Stick

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Aired Wednesday 10:30 PM Sep 23, 1998 on Comedy Central
8.6
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Episode Summary

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Poo Stick
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Opens with "Food Torture Films" ... animals being kept away from food which they desire. A-1 Protection Palace sells the brand new "Poo Stick" for personal protection. Casting for "Cats: The Movie", an independant short which is funded by crazed "Mini-Movies." Video Store Attendant terrorized by a customer who has never seen a movie in his life, but claims he is in every movie in the store. Meanwhile, the "Mini-Movie" man is terrorized by the same woman over and over, since she has paid to insult him. Automatic "Poo Sticks" are on their way to the streets. Next, Disney is in search for a new songwriter. The man they find can only make up nonsensical songs which contain no real words. The crazed video store customer attempts to destroy an original reel of "Out Of Africa" to win his million dollar bet, and in the end attacks the videostore guy with a "Poo Stick." Disney declares itself an independant state and finishes up with a big musical number. The "Mini-Movie" man continues to be plagued by the same rude customer, and encounters his first "Poo Stick."moreless

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (5)

      • Auditioner: What's a "mini movie"?
        Cast director: Well, it's a lot like a short film, only it's in front of a live audience, and it's not filmed.
        Auditioner: That's what a movie is, you film them.
        Cast director: Not a mini movie.

      • Costumer: What the hell is that?
        A-1 Protection Palace store clerk: Nice, ain't it? Brand new, very latest in A-1 Protection.
        Costumer: Looks like dog poo at the end of a stick.

      • Songwriter: Picture this sir. Happy muskrats happily playing in...a butterscotch waterfall. (sings) Gaddily gaddily gaddily goo...

      • Drunk woman: (menacing the "mini-movie" man with a poo-stick) You say I'm yer mama. Say I'm yer mama!

      • Customer: ...And Hans Solo was teaching Luke how to drive the thing -
        Video Store Attendant: The Millennium Falcon.
        Customer: Yeah, the Millennium Falcon. They're on the back of the falcon and they're holding onto its feathers -
        Video Store Attendant: The Millennium Falcon is a spaceship. Have you even seen Star Wars?
        Customer: Yeah, I was in it.

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