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Upright Citizens Brigade Season 1 Episode 3

Power Marketing

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Episode Summary

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AIRED: 9/2/98

The Upright Citizens Brigade controls Alan Greenspan during his "State of the Economy" speech, in an attempt to change the national currency to "Oak Leaves", but Greenspan throws the speech. "Power Marketing" siminars try to push people into having "New Brains" which are "powerful, explosive, and a real competitor." "Power Marketing" also features Astronaut Mike Berchwood from the "Saigon Suicide Squad" episode. Next, we discover "Hendley Architecture", the architectural firm that exists in an entirely open woodland, or, as they claim, a building designed with "Hyper Minimalism." Cut's back to the same "Power Marketing" speech as before. Now, we're shown a golf game between an advertising executive who is looking for success tips, and his brother. His brother advises him to stick every penny he gets up his ass, and then spend it, so he has the edge in any situation, since everyone is handling pennies which have been up his ass. Moves back to "Power Marketing" and the new brain you can have for only "$800 Dollars A Day!" Golfers invade the "Hyper Minimalist" architectural firm's building, and has a bout with security. Meanwhile, pirates inspired by the "Power Marketing" siminar's new brain philosophy attempt to bury treasure in the executive lounge, and the "Power Marketing" siminar invades the conference room.moreless

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Cast & Crew: STARS

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Matt Besser	Adair, Various
Amy Poehler	Colby, Various
Ian Roberts	Antoine, Various
Matt Walsh	Trotter, Various

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Cast & Crew: RECURRING AND GUESTS

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Paul Scheer	Attendee	Guest Star
Brian McCann	Crazy Guy	Guest Star
Rob Riggle	Security Guard	Guest Star

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TRIVIA (0)
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QUOTES (8)
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- Pirate: All my assets are tied up in gold doubloons. What if the market changes?
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- Nick the successful businessman: You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.
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- Nick the successful businessman: I mean hey, I haven't touched anything that's been in their ass.
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- Astronaut Mike Berchwood: I started getting high all the time. I weighed 500 pounds. I was washing my dishes in the bathtub. But then a good friend of mine turned me onto Power Marketing and gave me a new brain.
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- Astronaut Mike Berchwood: Every day after I finished my scientific experiments, I would look down on my former planet...and I would get a hard-on. A big hard-on.
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- Elaine Thompson: Back then Duke and I were getting high all the time, we were doing our dishes in the bathtub, and I weighed 500 pounds.
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- Duke Thompson: How's the new brain Elaine?
  Elaine: Really fun Duke.
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- Colby (prompting Greenspan): I would like to announce that oak leaves will replace the dollar as our accepted form of currency; and therefore I expect an end to the welfare state by mid-fall.
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NOTES (2)
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- It is revealed that Mike the Astronaut and the Titte Brothers got new brains through Power Marketing.
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- Duke Thompson, creator of Power Marketing and owner of the Decatur Fists, is also interviewed in the "Thunderball" episode, where he brags about his promotions: "Free Fuel and Fertilizer Night" and "Free Sock and Orange Night".
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