Season 2 Episode 7

Birth Pangs

Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Feb 22, 2011 on ABC

Episode Fan Reviews (5)

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  • "V: Birth Pangs" in Five Minutes: The deck chairs are re-arranged, but the Titanic is still sinking.


    Thomas: Tyler, our pilot program has a strict "No Boy-Band Hair" policy, so ...
    Clippers: Bzzzzz.

    Jack: Thanks for letting me move in with you.
    Hobbes: No prob. I hardly notice you even when we're face-to-face.
    Erica: Guys, this is Fier--
    Jack, Hobbes: DON'T TRUST HIM!
    Erica: --o. Uh, time for a team-building exercise in Bangkok.

    Joshua: Tyler's blood is weak, and he looks weedy in boxer shorts. Pathetic, inside and out.
    Thomas: And he can't even hear us trash-talking him from 15 feet away.
    Anna: Then he's expendable. Or maybe vital. Oh, I'll flip a coin. Later.

    Erica: Hi, Thai Guys. I'm the new Eli.
    Thai Guys: *Thhhpt!*
    Erica: Eli died because he wasn't smart.
    Thai Guys: "Smart" and "smart" ... what is this "smart"?

    Anna: Lisa, go get it on with a Spaniard.
    Lisa: But my all-consuming love for whiny Tyler-- er, yes'm.

    Erica: We're teleconferencing because the internet's so secure.
    Chad: I'll go sic Lisa!
    Hobbes: I'll be the muscle!
    Sid: I haven't died yet!
    Jack: Guys, am I relevant in any way, shape or--
    Laptop Lids: [snap shut in unison]

    Fiero: Lots of kids died 18 years ago.
    Erica: So we should go to Hong Kong.
    Fiero: Naturally.
    Hobbes: Cool. Nothing's easier for international terrorists to do than get into the People's Republic of China.

    Anna: Joshua, spy on Lisa, and report all her secret emotions to me.
    Joshua: God, it's like 8th grade never ended.

    Lisa: Gramma, I'm all emotion-y.
    Diana: Embrace them. Hide them. They'll empower you. But no one can know.
    Lisa: WTF?

    Chad: Lisa, spy for us.
    Lisa: Okay. Spying, spying, spying ...
    Joshua: Hey Lisa, how about those emotions, huh?
    Lisa: You, spy on me?! Buzz off, amateur.

    Hong Kong Cop: Welcome to Hong Kong. I happen to keep a photo of the V-Doctor on me at all times.
    Fiero: And I can bust Hong Kong security in a jiff.
    Erica: F*ck diamonds; contrivances are a girl's best friend.

    Hobbes: Knock, knock! My cunning disguise as a Chinese cop is eerily perfect!
    V-Doctor: Well, c'mon in, then!
    Erica: You, V-Doctor! Tell me everything or be tortured!
    V-Doctor: Look there, a wall safe! [LEAP!] [WHOOSH!] [POOF!]
    Hobbes: In China, they do love fireworks.
    Erica: Now, do we blow the safe, or exchange meaningful glances?
    Erica, Hobbes: *glance*
    Safe: [BOOM]

    Jack: Ryan! You're treacherous, and we all hate you!
    Ryan: If you help me spring my baby, at least you'll have something to do.
    Jack: Hummmm ...

    Erica: According the V-Doctor's safe files, Tyler is expendable!
    Hobbes: Hell, *I* coulda told you that on Day One.
    Fiero: Wanna play with unknown alien technology here and now?
    Hobbes: Definitely!
    Blood Bugs: Wheeeee!

    Hobbes: Hi, Jack. Exposition for you.
    Jack: kthx

    Lisa: Hi, Chad. Info for you.
    Chad: kthx

    Sid: The blood bugs are man-haters.
    Chad: And the live-aboards are speeding up V evolution.
    Erica: No sh*t!

    Joshua: My queen, Lisa has no emotions, but she was spying on files.
    Anna: Which files?
    Joshua: Dunno. In all our stolen evolution, we never acquired obervational skills.

    Mendoza: Hi, Lisa. I'm from Spain, and I speak perfect English.
    Lisa: Piss off, eurotrash.
    Anna: WTF, Missy? [WHACK!]
    Lisa: [WHACK!]
    Anna: I kinda liked that.

    Anna: Here's the thing: Lisa is expendable, and this pulsating blob here can be the new queen.
    Joshua: Or will the hybrid Freak Baby be the new queen?
    Anna: I'll flip a coin. Later.

    Erica: Do I rock, or don't I?!
    Fifth Column: Sure.

    Joshua: My experiments have turned Freak Baby into Freak Girlie.
    Ryan: Hi, Freak Girlie! Who's your Daddy?
    Freak Girlie: It's Anna, isn't it?
    Anna: Neato. [Whisper] Joshua, expend with Ryan.
    Joshua: Can't you just chomp him here and now?
    Anna: "Messy death" and "designer dress" don't go together, peasant.

    Tyler: Lisa, I'm a kick-ass pilot now.
    Lisa: I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss Emo-B*tch Tyler.

    Lisa: GOD, all day it's been spy-this, expendable-that ...
    Diana: Here's a hug, sweetie.
    Lisa: Here's a gizmo, Gramma.
    Diana: Here's a cold, furtive smile behind your back.
    Lisa: You don't have to say that out loud, you know.


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