Season 2 Episode 6


Aired Tuesday 9:00 PM Feb 15, 2011 on ABC

Episode Fan Reviews (10)

Write A Review
out of 10
262 votes
  • "V: Siege" in Five Minutes: Because even the best episode of V is subject to ridicule.


    Chad: Marcus got shot, so I call for civility.
    Newshound Carrie: And I'm siding with the "climate of hate" crowd. So there.

    Erica: We flubbed last week's assassination, and now we're all screwed.
    Eli: Wanna take it out on Ryan?
    Erica: Sorta.

    Ryan: Hi, Anna. Let me guess: "Infiltrate Fifth Column, yada-yada."
    Anna: Nah. Kill Eli.
    Ryan: This mood swing of yours will seriously set back our infiltration effort, and hamper our plans.
    Anna: I gotta be me.
    Freak Baby: Yada-yada! *giggle!*

    Old Priest: Here's a written order from the Vatican.
    Jack: Laser printer?! They sent something from a laser printer?!
    Old Priest: You're out. Surrender your badge and sidear-- er, your collar, I mean.
    Jack: Really, it's THE VATICAN. I was expecting gold leaf and illuminations and sh*t.

    Eli: Ooo, Ryan! You are SO captured!
    Ryan: Eep!

    Tracker-V: [sniff sniff sniff] SQUIRREL!
    FBI: Good Tracker!

    Erica: Ryan, dearie ... why did you betray us?!
    Ryan: For reasons that don't make a damn bit of sense.
    Erica: No! I ... I can't believe that!
    Ryan: I can prove it by telling you that they tracked me here, and now you're all doomed!
    Eli: He's right, Erica! It DID make no damn sense for him to reveal that!
    Erica: Okay, the FBI's got us surrounded now. Don't hurt anyone, and beat me up.

    Chad: ... And in conclusion, a hostage crisis is TV news catnip. I'm Chad Decker.
    Agent Chris: Hey, there's Erica as a hostage!
    FBI Chief: She's a known collaborator. Do you suspect she's playing us?
    Agent Chris: No way. Look, she got punched in the face. That proves it.

    Thomas: The day is only 1/3 over, and it's already exciting.
    Anna: We'll use this situation to kill both of Tyler's parents, for Tyler is VITAL to our plans!
    Thomas: Uh, just last week, you said Tyl--
    Anna: VITAL! Lisa, go snag your boyfriend!
    Lisa: Yes'm!

    Tyler: Two-parents-again, tra-la-la, happy-happ--
    TV: News Flash: Erica Evans is totally a hostage.
    Joe: Bummer!

    Erica: [phone] Hi, FBI. The terrorists' one demand is that the crisis be stretched out to 10:00 pm EST. [click] Eli, how's your preposterous escape plan coming along?
    Eli: Dandy!

    Thomas: Here's a 3D view of the hostage building.
    FBI Chief: Nifty! Agent Chris, drop this important operation and go hand-hold Erica's estranged husband.
    Agent Chris: Meh, I'll task it to Agent ... uh, what's your name again?
    Agent V: Don't worry, I'm on it.

    Agent V: Hi, Joe. I'm here to reassure you, but mainly to abandon these sensitive files. Bye!
    Joe: Maps of the hostage building! Golly!

    Eli: Our family photos rock, Erica.
    Erica: I wish I could see Joe right now.
    Joe: Hi-dee-ho, y'all!
    Eli: Hey, you got in! Which means the way out is a trap!
    Erica: Wow, we're smart all of a sudden!
    Eli: Live it up, it won't last.

    Tyler: I'm going to the hostage building, for some-reason-or-other.
    Lisa: Eep!

    Thomas: All the pieces are in place.
    Anna: And now Hobbes, who's in cahoots with Marcus, will kill them all!
    Thomas: Wow, I was wondering if that plot point would come up!

    Erica: They're preparing to kill us.
    Eli: Okay, I texted my bomb-vested sleepers, to un-focus the crisis.
    Erica: What?! You suck! I hate you!
    Eli: That's why you must lead the resistance after I'm dead.
    Erica: Well, that's--!! Uh, that kinda makes sense. And it was moving, too.
    Eli: Spooky sensations, eh?

    Jack: [phone] Hi, Hobbes, am I still relevant?
    Hobbes: Were you ever? [click]
    Thomas: Hello, Hobbes, I'm the new Marcus. We've got your beloved. Here's a detonator, which I could push myself. Here's my turtleneck. That is all.

    Agent Chris: Jack, you creep! I'm gonna smack you 'round, and then-- uh, why are you crying?
    Jack: *sob!* You think-- you think I'm ... relevant! *sob!*

    Erica: You screwed us over, Ryan. You die now.
    Eli: B'bye, fake hostages.
    Joe: Quick smooch before we go, Erica?
    Erica: Just a quick one. After all, we've got the rest of our lives to--
    Eli: Enough foreshadowing, you two! Skedaddle!

    Thomas: My queen, half this season's effects budget is at your disposal.
    Anna: Dispose away.
    Joe: Erk!
    Erica: NO! Not a Boromir death!
    Tyler: Saddy-sad!
    Agent Chris: Such a moving family tableau means we have to cancel our investigation into Erica Evans.
    FBI Chief: Obviously.

    Anna: Hi, Mom. I destroyed Fifth Column, and now, I'm back to destroying ... the human soul!
    Diana: Sweetie, the episode was going so well. Did you have to dredge up the S-word?
    Anna: Bah! I'm outta here!
    Lisa: And I'm in. *GASP!* Granny, in a dungeon, in a fabulous frock! What a Charlotte Bronte-esque plot twist!

    Tyler: Mom, I demand a departure scene worthy of a Mexican telenovella!
    Erica: *SOB!* Don't leave me now!! [SLAP]
    Audience: Yay!

    Jack: Erica, I'm so--
    Erica: Hush, you're irrelevant. I'm in charge of a global terrorist network now, and I'm going to kick ass!
    Jack, Chad, Hobbes: Cooool!