Selena: (about her daughter) You know, all you ever want for these kids is to be happy and healthy and stay out of Middle East politics. So, two out of three ain't bad.
Selena: (after Mary's allergic reaction to the flowers) Gary, deflower the room.
Dan: That's a sentence I'd bet you thought you'd never hear!
Mike: Someone has resurrected 'Meyer the Liar'.
Selena: Just because my last name rhymes with 'liar'. How lucky am I that I am not Selena Mapist or Selena Medophile.