Veronica Mars Season 3 Episode 4

Nish: Veronica. It's good to see you.
Veronica: And that's where we differ.

Veronica: Do you really think I came in here thinking 'hmm, Parker's getting raped. Now where are those movie tickets'.
Parker: No. You just figured the whore was getting her freak on.
Veronica: So, you're really mad because I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore.
Parker: Don't pretend for a second to understand how I'm feeling.
Veronica: I understand exactly what you're feeling, Parker. I've been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end-of-the-year party, summer of 2004. I'd give you the details, but they're a little fuzzy.
Parker: Uh, I-I didn't... I had no idea.
Veronica: Not something I open with. But now that I've got your attention... (she takes a step closer to Parker) I will find out who raped you. That's job one.

Dick: You're torturing me.
Veronica: Without even trying? God, I'm good.
Dick: My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them, instead of trying to find the real raper.
Veronica: Do you mean 'rapist'? Learn the terminology.

(Keith lets Dick into their house)
Veronica: (to her dad) If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it.
Dick: Hey, buddy. Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over.
Veronica: : You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kind of a play date.

(Veronica opens door)
Logan: You were expecting Sidney Poitier?

Veronica: This is a bad idea.
Keith: No, it's not.
Veronica: You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Keith: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good.

Veronica: Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne?
Keith: It's aftershave. I'm going to traffic court.
Veronica: Sexy traffic court?
Keith: Hmm. Nice shoes. You change your major to Women's Studies?
Veronica: Ha! Yuk it up, fancy pants.

Keith: Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass?
Veronica: One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man-servants and suddenly he's spendy.

Wallace: I liked the other place you worked better.
Veronica: Think maybe that's because we had food there?

Veronica: No jokes. No innuendoes, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
Logan: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica: Go home.

Veronica: Here's a fun thing to say to your beau: 'Mind if I go put the screws to someone?'
Logan: Go ahead, screw your brains out.

Veronica: (voiceover, referring to Dick) Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like a horny surfer.