Veronica Mars Season 2 Episode 3

Veronica: (mockingly) Wallace and his pudding cup!
Wallace: Yeah...Mom seems to forget I'm not five anymore.

Duncan: Veronica, it's no big deal. It's just what guys do sometimes.
Veronica: I don't think Colin Firth gets into these pointless fisticuffs. A pistol duel, maybe, but--.

(looking at a photo of Kendall and a man going into a motel room)
Beaver: This isn't enough. They could be doing anything behind that door.
Veronica: Oh, you sweet, simple boy.

Sheriff Lamb: What can you tell me about your relationship with this man?
Veronica: Ahh yes, I remember that summer. He was a roadie for Whitesnake. I was singing backup for Boyz II Men. They said it would never work but--

Veronica: Is your girlfriend still here?
Logan: Girlfriend? Girlfriend, uh, you have to be a little more specific.
Veronica: Let me clarify -- the one whose husband is gonna break you in half when he finds out that his son's old Cub Scout camperee buddy is secretly plowing his wife.

Veronica: The bus crash. It was meant for me. They all died because of me.

Veronica: You gotta admire a girl who sticks to her schedule. Lunch...bag switch...followed by illicit sex at one of her husband's numerous hotels.

Logan: Oh, remember, there was this little situation? I was accused of murder? I am the eye of a storm and I never heard from you. It is a war out there and you're on the sidelines? Do you remember when you used to have my back?
Duncan: Yeah, wait, I do remember this summer.
Logan: Yeah.
Duncan: I was dealing with this thing, what was it? Oh, yeah, I remember now.
Your dad murdered my sister.
Logan: I hate him too, you know.

Jackie: (describing 'Pride and Prejudice' in an English accent) Six-hundred pages of pasty white chicks cat-fighting over some stick-up-his-butt dude's prospects.

Wallace: You met Jackie, right?
Veronica: I didn't realize you were lunch buddies.
Wallace: I'm going for lunch buddies with privileges.

Alicia: So what do you think the kids are doing right now?
Keith: As long as they're not in jail or setting anything on fire, I kinda don't care.

Veronica: (Voiceover) Somewhere, those million chimps with their million typewriters must have finally written King Lear, because Sheriff Lamb is actually right about something.

Keith: I'd love to have underlings and deputies other than my daughter. I mean, she's really no good at wrestling the hopped-up meth-heads into the back of the car.

Sheriff Lamb: You're 18 now, kiddo. You're an adult.
Veronica: Well that makes one of us! (short pause) So, are you gonna tell me why I'm here or should I just sit back and enjoy your impression of a mildly constipated David Caruso?

Mr. Pope: Congratulations, FBLAers. You are now worth exactly one million dollars.
Logan: What? You mean I've lost money? Heads will roll.

Deputy: The Sheriff wants to ask you some questions.
Veronica: My answer was final, I will not go to prom with him!