Veronica Mars Season 3 Episode 6

Wallace: So, you figure out what was up with that plagiarism thing?
Veronica: As a matter of fact, a paper just like mine was posted online by roryfinch@hearstcollege.org. A Hearst email, but there's never been a student by that name. The address was set up three days ago from an IP address at... get this... the Neptune Grand.
Wallace: After you turned in your paper.
Veronica: Um-hm.
Wallace: So, you're off the hook. It's over.
Veronica: Ah, my innocent and naive Wallace. When I find out who did this, and I make them sing like the proverbial fat lady, that's when it's over.

Veronica: Just, Mac's had this project all week and Parker's all alone. I think we should invite her along.
Logan: Um, how very Emma of you.
Veronica: Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official, the end of days are upon us.

Veronica: Parker thought you were cool. And also cute.
Piz: Oh, huh. Well... oh.
Veronica: Oh, what?
Piz: I mean, no, she's really nice, it's... but she's not really my type.
Veronica: Oh. You have a type.
Piz: Yeah, kinda. And it's not her.

Parker: Ya-hoo! That's two-thirds of a turkey, bitches! Ah, you're in a deep hole, Piznarski. We're going to totally humiliate you, but, you know, no pressure.
Logan: Refreshments?
Piz: Ten martinis.

Parker: I can't believe you invite me out for the first time since I was...raped on some cheesy, double date set-up with that Piz guy.
Veronica: It's not a set-up, I swear.
Parker: Size seven, but this is not fun.

Keith: He sounds like a hell of a guy.
Veronica: Not only is he smart, but he's the biggest gun in the department, so him offering to be my advisor, it's just...
Keith: Yeah, I'm not surprised. But I wish you would consult with me before you start phasing me out of your life.
Veronica: Dad.
Keith: He's smart, huh? Is he smarter than your old man?
Veronica: You know, actually, you two have a lot in common. You'd like him.
Keith: Can I take him in a fight? Be honest.

Professor Hank Landry: The whole of human knowledge, right there online, and these papers are thin. Am I crazy to expect better? And if you're confused as to what better is, let me direct you to the front where I've posted our only example of A-caliber work. Nice job, Miss Mars.
Veronica: (voiceover) Well, this should make me popular.

Jeff: I've worked here two years. You've seen me a hundred times, but you don't notice the little people, 'cause you're too busy lounging with Captain Moneybags, here.
Logan: That's Admiral Moneybags.
Jeff: I trust the steak's to your liking.
Logan: Always.
Jeff: Goodnight, then.
Logan: Well, that's my girl, spreading sunshine wherever she goes.
Veronica: That boy doesn't know it yet, but he's the living dead.

Veronica: No more fun. Too exhausting.
Logan: Yeah. Next time we'll get in some weight training before we bowl.
Veronica: Just the soap opera. Parker wants me to find out if Piz likes her. What do I do? Pass a note? Scribble it on his Trapper Keeper?

Veronica: Hey, do you want to go bowling tomorrow night?
Logan: Sure. Unless it's some critical analysis of bowling seminar, then I...

Winkler: Mr. Fennel. I was under the impression you dropped the class.
Wallace: I said I'd think about it.
Winkler: You sure this is a smart choice?
Wallace: Probably not. But you've seen my standardized test scores. I'm not a particularly smart guy, right?

(Knock knock knock…)
Veronica: Wallace?
Wallace: Not here.
Veronica: And you would be?
Wallace: Evil Wallace. And I know Veronica Mars doesn't hang with the evil and morally bankrupt.

Tim: You think it's me? You think I'm trying to get you out of Landry's class because I don't like you?
Veronica: Wait, you don't like me?

Veronica: You're going on a date with a married woman.
Keith: It's not a date. We saw a movie, had a drink, and talked.
Veronica: Which is a date.