Veronica Mars Season 2 Episode 7

Veronica: (voice-over) (looks at Gia's parents' shelves where she has to drop her shoes) They kill their guests and steal their shoes. (hears girlish laughter and looks horrified) Please tell me they kill their guests.

Logan's voice-mail: It's Logan. "Life's tragedy is that we grow old too soon and wise too late", Ben Franklin.
Veronica: (on the phone) The good news is, I'm perfect the way I am. The bad, your plastic surgeon is a mensch.

Veronica: Your 9-1-1 caller, a.k.a. Tom Griffith, is Doctor Tom Griffith. He is a very expensive, well-respected plastic surgeon.
Logan: I don't believe it. There are no respected plastic surgeons.

(Veronica is talking with Duncan and Logan knocks on the patio door)
Duncan: Are you all right?
Veronica: Yeah. It's just a really big bug. I'll call you back.

Logan: I thought maybe you could do a little sleuthing for old times' sake.
Veronica: Really? Could I?

Logan: Hey, you remember when we, uh, made out against the sink and you had your legs around my waist?
Veronica: Stop, you'll make me blush.
Logan: Honestly, how much easier would your life be if you were indifferent to me?
Veronica: So much, since I'm really struggling. What do you want?

Keith: Well, look who got an invite to the sheriff department's fundraiser slash bachelor auction.
Veronica: Please say 'Veronica Mars.'
Keith: Sorry, sweetheart. You can't buy love. Bored wives of the wealthy, however, can. I'm wondering if they'll sell Sheriff Lamb by the pound.

Woody: I promised a cleaner, safer Neptune. Want to know how I'm gonna get there? Incorporation. Turn our little county seat into a full-fledged city. Santa Barbara, Carmel, La Jolla, they all did it. Upped their tax base, turned that revenue into antique streetlamps, cobblestone streets, increased sanitation. I defy you to find graffiti in Carmel, Keith. It cannot be done. Here...
Keith: What boundaries are we talking about?
Woody: South to the marina, north to the airfield, east to the reservoir.
Keith: That's not a town, Woody, that's a-that's a country club.

Duncan: Weren't we doin' something?
Veronica: We were making out on the couch, and then that happened. Dick and Beav's stepmom just came over to have a go-around with your bunkmate. How does that not bother you?
Duncan: 'Cause I'm a guy?

Veronica: Nobody likes an eager beaver.

Gia: Mrs. Hauser, mine's wrong. Isn't this a flower?
Mrs. Hauser: No, Gia. Chlamydia is not a flower.
Gia: Well, we have it on, like, a trellis at our beach house.
Veronica: Your trellis is a whore.

Logan: So...your feelings have grown as your available balance has shrunk.

Logan: Seriously, though, I was reading Third Wheel: A Beginner's Guide, and we should come up with, like, some kind of code word for when you guys are feeling frisky and, uh, don't want to be disturbed.
Veronica: Like 'scram'?
Logan: I was thinking 'awkward.' But 'scram''s good. Or 'amscray.'

Duncan: Veronica. You need to stop being The Dude.
Veronica: Stoner bowler doesn't do it for you?
Duncan: A little. Only because I like the way your lips pout when you do a guy voice.
Veronica: These lips? I've had 'em for years, I can't do a thing with 'em.