Eli "Weevil" Navarro
Sheriff Don Lamb
Deputy Jerry Sacks
The movie Veronica and Logan are watching while waiting for the escort to arrive is Sense and Sensibility, based on a novel by Jane Austen.
Veronica: I can't believe I had to blackmail a judge just to get some alone time with you.
Logan: You really don't have to work that hard.
Veronica: Sure, I do.
Veronica: Were you with anyone while we were broken up?
Logan: Land mine. (he pauses) I fooled around with this horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. Thinking of it makes me ill. So, there. Presto. Intimacy. (long silence) Still love me?
Max: Can you still find her?
Veronica: Um... yes. But she'll still be a prostitute.
Max: I'm not stupid, Veronica. Okay, we had something. I know it. There's some things you can't fake.
Veronica: There are some things women are universally known for faking, and this girl is a professional.
Max: When I dropped her off at the airport, she had tears in her eyes.
Veronica: Are you sure she wasn't thinking of the cab fare back?
Max: News? Already?
Veronica: The glass-is-half-full version: Chelsea's not getting married.
Max: Are you serious?
Veronica: Yeah. The half-empty version is... she's a hooker.
Max: Have a seat.
Veronica: No, thanks. It's easier to be nosy if I can mill about.
Veronica: Morning. Whatcha doing?
Keith: (in his sheriff's uniform) Just getting dressed for work.
Veronica: Wait. You're missing something. (comes back carrying a boombox) Now, remember, when you rip off the breakaway pants, thrust your pelvis toward the bachelorette, okay? (does thrusting motion) It's her special day.
Veronica: Buried secrets tend to surface when I'm around.
Logan: Maybe that's because of all the digging.
Veronica: You know if I were a hooker, this snuggle would cost you.
Logan: This is a bad idea.
Veronica: It's blackmail! It's the go-to idea. In case of emergency, break glass or blackmail.
Logan: What? You think that hookers are known for their punctuality?
Veronica: I'm meeting two hookers over at Logan's later.
Keith: On a school night?
Veronica: Off-peak hours, save a few bucks.
Keith: You're not really...
Veronica: Fiona and Lisette. They are just a couple of gals puttin' themselves through college. Man, quit bringing me down with your bourgeois hang-ups.
Veronica: What's GFE?
Brian: Girlfriend experience.
Veronica: She has to be an experienced girlfriend?
Brian: It's the type of experience you want her to have. You want it to be like she's your girlfriend, it's a GFE, girlfriend experience. But if you want to act like you're in a porn, it's a PSE: porn-star experience.
Veronica: Is there a reality experience, where she reminds the guy she's only there because he's paying her?
Veronica: (about the escort search engine) It's like a Zagat Guide for hookers. How did people find sex before there was an internet?
Veronica: Are you gonna eat that?
Logan: (looking at the french fry) This?
Veronica: Yeah, that fry in particular.
Logan: That was the plan.
Veronica: I'm just saying, if you weren't, or if you were just gonna consume it out of obligation or to meet someone else's expectations, I know someone who might be willing to take it off your hands. Maybe add a little ketchup, make it worth a girl's while.
Veronica: A hooker search engine. What will you boys come up with next?
Max: Here's the deal: the woman I love is getting married next week, I have no idea where or to who, I don't know her address, her phone number, I don't even know her last name. If you don't find her, I'm taking a bath with my blow-dryer.
Veronica: You're just like the rest of them, aren't you? You just wanna use me for my skills and pay me for my time and effort.
Max: Do I have an option of using you for your skills and not paying?
Keith: (to Sheriff Lamb) I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try some time.
Veronica: I just want to get to a place where we can be really intimate.
Logan: That's what the female praying mantis says before she bites the male's head off.
"A Thousand Kisses Deep" by Leonard Cohen
"Wheels" by Mark Lanegan
"Never the Same Again" by Moonlight Towers
"Yeah!" by The Golden Dogs
Veronica: You didn't get all sweaty in your Wookiee suit, did you?
Max: Yuk it up. You know, it's not all Trekkies and Star Wars nerds. I was there because Dave Gibbons has a new graphic novel that he scripted as well as drew.
Veronica: Sounds cooler now. So, about the one that got away, she was dressed as a Cylon, and you only knew her as Six, right?
Max: Her name is Chelsea, and she was in regular clothes. And, yeah, after the Dave Gibbons thing, I may have drifted into the Battlestar Galactica session. And, yeah, that's where we met. And, okay, we started out talking about how the Cylon raiders on BSG look like Batman's car when it turns into a plane. But then we started talking about our crappy relationships with our parents and, and Chuck Klosterman and moral grayness.
A Wookiee is a member of a race similar to the Sasquatch from Star Wars, an epic space saga developed by George Lucas during the 1970's. Trekkie is a term used to describe a fan of the fictional Star Trek universe.
Dave Gibbons is a British writer and comic artist. Max was most likely referring to Gibbons' black and white graphic novel "The Originals" released in 2005.
Battlestar Galactica is a science fiction television series about the war between the humans and the Cylons, a cybernetic civilization. Number Six is a fictional Cylon character portrayed by Canadian actress Tricia Helfer in the television series.
Chuck Klosterman is an American writer and journalist who focuses on pop culture.
Veronica: Sir Cheats-a-Lot. How's business?
This is a reference to the rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot. He is famous for his one hit wonder "Baby Got Back".
Throughout the episode several references are made to Comic Con. Comic Con is the world's largest comic convention which attracted around 130,000 people over four days in 2006. The show had a panel there as well as Battlestar Galactica.
Veronica: If it isn't the Man of La Mancha.
Man of La Mancha is a musical based on the novel Don Quixote written by Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra. In the story, Don Quixote of La Mancha falls in love with Aldonza, whom he calls Dulcinea. Aldonza, used to being roughly handled by men, is treated well by Don Quixote.
Veronica: If you go undercover as a student: no Daniel Boone jacket, no peace signs. The times they have a-changed.
Daniel Boone was an American pioneer and hunter who is one of the first folk heroes of the United States. The peace sign is a hand gesture that was often used in the seventies between hippies. "The times they have a-changed" alludes to a song by Bob Dylan called "The Times They Are A-Changing."
Veronica: And how when you see a white plastic bag floating around, you think there is so much beauty in the world you can't take it.
This is from the 1999 Oscar winning film American Beauty. Ricky Fitts, played by Wes Bentley, films a white bag floating in the wind. Seeing it makes him realize that there is so much beauty in the world and that he can hardly stand it.
Veronica: How to make the happy hooker not so happy.
The Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander is a book from the '70s about a woman, Xaviera de Vries, who recounts being a madam in a brothel.
Veronica: Your attention to detail has served us well young Jedis.
The Jedi are a fictional monastic peacekeeping organization from the Star Wars saga, known for their talent in and observance of The Force.
Episode Title: Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves
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