Veronica Mars Season 3 Episode 9

Veronica: (voiceover, talking about Logan) Ah. So the boy can still smile. Seems like a week since I've seen his teeth.

Drew: (to Veronica) Looky here. It's my favorite drink tosser. I'm so happy you came to Hearst.
Wallace: Seriously, does anyone like you?

Logan: I can't do this anymore, Veronica. No, I've been thinking, and, uh... this isn't working. You know, I don't think I quite measure up to the person that you want me to be and... and I just can't take feeling like a disappointment anymore.
Veronica: Logan, I don't--
Logan: Hey, let me get this out, okay? The other thing... you told me you weren't built to let people help you.
Veronica: That's not exactly what I said.
Logan: It's close. And you know what? I'm not built to stand on the sidelines. I don't know, I think we have a choice. And I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now... or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later. So, I vote for the pain now. But I'm always here... if you need anything. (he kisses her on the forehead) But you never need anything.

Mercer: Unicorns? Really? Well, we'll definitely be needing some mood music. You know, techno has a bad reputation, but I think it's undeserved. Groan if you disagree. Good. We're on the same page. It's unfortunate that when you wake up, all you'll know is that your hair is gone...because it's gonna be good. I'd wager your best ever. And it's a me thing, I'm sorry to say. I...have no patience. I mean, if I'd met you in a bar or at a party, I would have had you back here and on your back in an hour. But that's an hour of my life I would have never had back, an hour of listening to you talk about unicorns and your high-school boyfriend and how you hate the taste of beer. I'm just taking what you would have happily given. I mean, that's hardly a crime.

Wallace: And if you see a really cute girl and you want to dance with her?
Veronica: Dance. Just know that your libido caused some girl to get raped.
Wallace: That kinda takes the fun out of it.
Veronica: Hey, it's your life.
Wallace: Since when?
Veronica: See? You give me a hard time, I'm less enthusiastic about giving you the little 'thanks for helping' presents I made for everybody this afternoon.

Landry: What an enlightening weekend I had. You learn a lot about people when you read their 'Plan a Perfect Murder' papers. I must say, I'm a little frightened to appear before you today, and it's not just that a good half-dozen of you offed me. A chainsaw, Biggles? Really?

Dean O'Dell: Hot damn, I'm back in business. What would I do if you ever left me?
Weevil: Call human resources and have them send a replacement?

Veronica: Hi, Bonnie. So, where's your boyfriend tonight?
Bonnie: Do you see a ring?
Dick: Hey Veronica. Where's your boyfriend tonight? Oh wait, I'm so sorry. You don't have one anymore. Bummer.

Mac: Are you freaking kidding me? The Pi Sig mega apocalypse? Hump the furniture, party back to the Stone Age, 50 keg bacchanalia?
Veronica: Sounds fun, right?
Mac: Will they let me in? I think all the glitter has come off my 'porn star' tube top.

Veronica: Howdy boys. Anyone up for going to a Pi Sig blowout? Beer and ladies and music and other stuff guys like, I'm sure. Fast cars, loose slots, electronic gadgetry, televised sports, pornography. Nothing? None of this grabs you?

Moe: I don't exactly know how to put this. It's the sort of thing that makes me hate being a resident advisor, but I have to ask. Someone has been leaving a surprise in the third stall every day for the past two weeks. This person apparently never learned how to flush and it's my amateur medical opinion that he's suffering from what must be a terminal disease. So?
Wallace: Not guilty, man.
Piz: Third stall stage right or stage left?
Moe: Stage right.
Piz: Yeah, not guilty either.

Veronica: Great job, Dick. I'm sure you won that debate.
Logan: Well he's a master debater.

Keith: Soup? You know how I feel about soup. It's a side dish.
Veronica: There's a meat loaf in the oven.
Keith: Now we're talking.

Veronica: Going somewhere?
Keith: Oh, very good number one daughter. You might make a detective yet.