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Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Eli "Weevil" Navarro
Vincent "Vinnie" Van Lowe
When Veronica approaches Jaleesa Jones in the food court, Jaleesa's standing at the counter reading a book, which she's holding with both hands. When she answers Veronica's question, she puts the book down and puts her left hand on the cash register. The camera angle changes to show Veronica, and we can see that Jaleesa is still holding the book, which she then puts down for a second time. The book in question is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, published in 1957.
Veronica: Who says it was you?
Weevil: A couple of college kids pulled me out of a lineup.
Veronica: Why do you think they're fingering you?
Weevil: Because I'm easy. Easy like Sunday morning. Ex-con and all.
Veronica: Except they'd have to know you were an ex-con. Have you been going around campus sharing the story of your personal journey?
Weevil: Only in your criminology class when you asked me to.
Veronica: Oh, yeah, right. Oops.
Dick: I know you and me haven't always been, like, best buds, but do you want to know why?
Mac: Not really.
Dick: 'Cause you were both so smart, you and Beav. And... and I could tell, you know, that you thought I was an idiot... So I figured my best bet was to... you know how a best defense is a good offense? So, I thought... The way I treated you and Beav was totally uncool, and I'm totally sorry for all those things I said.
Mac: Yeah. Okay. Accepted.
Dick: It's cool. You're so cool. I get it now what my brother saw in you.
Veronica: If we're assuming someone's framing you, they had only twenty-four hours--
Weevil: Whoa, if we're assuming? If we're not assuming, then I guess we're assuming that I did it, which means that I hired you to get to the bottom of my own crime? That's a pretty dumb assumption, don't you think?
Veronica: Touchy! I'll rephrase. Whoever framed you had twenty-four hours to get your fingerprints on the ringer ID machine. We need to retrace your steps. Try and remember everything you touched the day before you got busted.
Weevil: A day in the life of Weevil's hands, huh? Let's see. I woke up, I hopped in the shower--
Veronica: What say we fast-forward to your day on campus?
Mac: What's with the food police?
Veronica: She has the right to remain famished.
Dick: That's Veronica.
Logan: Yeah. I'm aware of that.
Dick: And that's that Piz dude. (the video shows Veronica and Piz having sex) Yeah, here's the money part. Not what I'd call bodacious, but firm, supple, pleasing to the eye.
(Piz and Veronica are curled up on the couch. They start to kiss, but jump apart when Keith walks in)
Veronica: What happened to the courtesy knock?
Keith: What happened to whalebone corsets and courting chaperones? Who wants falafel?
Mac: Miss Mars uses Venus razor.
Veronica: Because if she doesn't, her legs look like Pluto's.
Mac: And she's down-to-earth, to boot.
Veronica: I think I read in Teen People that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice.
Mac: I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts.
Veronica: Interesting. I did not know that. Bare breasts, you say? Hmm.
Veronica: All those weeks of thinking about you, and... and missing you... and all those pent-up feelings. What am I ever gonna do with all of them?
Piz: I-I have a couple... million suggestions.
Piz: You know, like...
Veronica: Mmm. So, what are these suggestions?
Piz: Oh, you know, you don't need them.
Veronica: Does it involve me...doing a sort of dance-squad-like routine? Perhaps... a cheer?
Piz: Actually, it does.
Veronica: I was kidding.
Piz: Then no.
Veronica: Did it involve me being naked?
Piz: It did.
Dick: Man, this new wetsuit's like a cheap motel. No ballroom.
(talking about buying a new answering machine)
Keith: You may have gone digital, but I remain firmly analog.
Veronica: No, I'm digital. You remain firmly cheap.
Keith: (about attending Piz's radio talk show) Fine. If you think Vinnie is willing to miss his morning cartoons, I'll be there.
Veronica: This is your end-of-term project? I should have been an aerospace major.
Wallace: A one-thirty-second model of an amphibious regional turboprop. I call it the Sea Monkey.
Veronica: Which would make more sense if monkeys were amphibious...or could fly.
Wallace: Only love life I have is some dude who's always following me around.
Veronica: What, like you're being cruised?
Wallace: Yeah. Remind me which color bandana I'm supposed to wear that says I'm straight...but flattered and non-judgmental.
Mac: (about Piz) He wants to date you and be near you? Greedy little bugger.
Veronica: And if he didn't care, I'd probably be complaining about that...to my girlfriend...while waiting to pay for frozen yogurt. I'm a girl!
Russell Merchant: Says here you spent a little time in prison last year.
Weevil: So did Martha Stewart. Now does that mean I don't get my benefits?
Veronica: Weevil, you're wobbling!
Weevil: Yeah, and I'm gonna take the fall... unless you can help me.
Mac: Have you considered letting Piz know you're bummed about the prospect of being apart from him this summer?
Veronica: Simple. Direct. Honest. Mac, that's almost crazy enough to work.
Mac: Just sharing my vast relationship wisdom.
Veronica: And the Injustice League strikes again!
The Injustice League is a team of super-villains from DC Comics, created by Superman's nemesis Lex Luthor to battle the heroic Justice League.
Piz: So? Rob Thomas is a whore!
Weevil: Cause I'm easy. Easy like Sunday morning.
These are the lyrics from the song 'Easy', originally sung by The Commodores.
Episode Title: Weevils Wobble
A play on words of the toys called "Weebles" from Hasbro's Playskool. The phrase from the commercial is "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down," hence the "Weevils Wobble."
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