Victoria: If a gibbon could talk, it would be an attractive version of Norman. He's embraced the idea of the plunge neckline and applied it to the back of his trousers.
Victoria: (about Oberon, the builder) He's just not very bright. His lips move when other people are reading.
Victoria: The neighbours, they're a nuisance. They're sex counsellors. They bang on the bedroom wall if you're not doing it.
Jean: (explaing the manifesto of the Jean & Barbara Party) Libraries. More large print novels, especially Jackie Collins.
Barbara: That's for my grandad. He likes smut and he can't focus.
Graham: I was in the Guides and the we went camping, and someone spotted my underpants and I was sent home. I was unpopular at boarding school because I had my mother with me. I was ostracised at Oxford.
Graham: Possibly because my bike had stabilizers.
In the credits of Acorn Antiques the names of Victoria Wood and Celie Imrie are mistakenly given as Victoria Woods and Celia Impie.
Presented in this episode:
• Victoria Wood Monologue: The Builders
• Countrywide Local
• Advertisement: Chocolates?
• Jean and Barbara: Partly Political Broadcast
• Susie Blake 1: Breakfast TV
• Margery and Joan 2: The Holiday
• Susie Blake 2: Birthday Parade (1)
• Acorn Antiques 11
• Song: "A Day At The Seaside"
• Susie Blake 3: Birthday Parade (2)
• The Garden Hose
• Documentary: "Flatmates"