User Score: 393
WARNING: This review is extremely long. Read if you have a lot of time and patience.
With this review, I will try to be as rational and as forgiving as possible. I grew up with shows like Drake & Josh and Spongebob, shows that I laugh my head off at. And even today, as I watch reruns off of the DVDs I longed for, I laugh at the same jokes because they're so funny.
I have watched Victorious thrice. The first time was the debut, where I thought the show was decent. Back then I would have given it a 3/10 or something like that. I mean, I hated the sister Trina (she has a lot of nerve to say half the stuff she says; I thought of her as being written to be overly conceited, and come on, her actress is way too old) from the start. I actually have always thought that Andre was okay, though. I just think he has a bad place in a bad show like this. I'll talk about him and Tori later.
Point is, the debut wasn't as horrendous as I feared. The only part of it that bothered me was that it was the introduction to the recycling bin of shows that Dan Schneider and other Teen Pop shows have seen come and pass. Examples: Hannah Montana (pretty much the entire premise and a load of the plots). True Jackson VP (don't tell me that show's still running, its days are numbered). iCarly (it's still showing, but every single character and joke is ripped off from iCarly to Victorious). Do you see where I'm going?
Episode 2 was something about Tori having to audition for a scene in this strange man's acting class by reciting something about a bird. I'm only 14, but I'll say that in my entire life, I don't think I'll ever see a worse plot in my life. As for the third episode, it has been tossed from my memory. But let's get on to the characters.
Do you typically love protagonists? Then you're going to HATE Tori Vega. I see her as bratty and self-absorbed. I mean, in the debut, we learn that she's talented, and now she goes to a prestigious school full of other pretentious teenage brats. We all have our talents, and Tori is just an annoying expression of teenage talent. Her ego is incredibly large, and her personality is incredibly annoying; someone mentions singing and she jumps up and says something about her singing career. I can't stand Tori because she is too perfect. No lead character is as perfect as Tori. This is a nightmarish example for teenage children who need to see other teenage children who have flaws and personal problems as their examples. When other characters have dilemmas, she has to butt in and ruin it even more because of her oh so annoying personality. She's a brat, and she can't keep her nose out of everyone's business. You sure want your teenage gils to turn out like that.
Tori acts like she's all that (and the writers sadly make it so), and somehow, she has become the self-appointed leader of her group, and her cronies can't do anything without her, not even the boyfriend-girlfriend couple in the group. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a fine example of spousal abuse on the girl's part, and in no way do the Simpletons writing these scripts try to calm down on such a bitterly angry and mean girl beating down on her typical boyfriend. Her boyfriend is emotionless, and Tori seems to flirt with him way too often for him to be having a girlfriend in the first place. I can't even write on the boyfriend because while every other character is 1-dimensional, he's 1/2-dimensional.
On to other characters, you have Andre, who I will now elaborate on. He's a good character. He's a little pointless, but he has a nice personality. His dilemmas seem to be kind of pointless to anything, though (in one episode, he has his own separate dilemma of desiring to get stung by bees while something else that's Tori's fault is going on in the background — !?!?!?). What really annoys me is that he writes 90% of the music for this show, and all the credit they give him is showing him with an electric piano playing two or three notes, and then Tori starts singing, and Andre/Leon Thomas III gets absolutely no credit, and it's obnoxious. If I were to pick an actually talented character in this show, it would be him, but he gets no credit.
Onto the other two characters, you have Kat, who is supposed to be the stupid character. Every show has to have the stupid character — That 70s Show had Michael Kelso, Drake & Josh had Drake, etc. Kat is so amazingly stupid that she doesn't even qualify as a stupid character. She acts mentally ill. And I'm not trying to be rude at all, but Kat's lines are so stupid that words can't even explain how hard the writers try to make her an imbecile, and it's so desperate. Robbie is a future institution patient who carries a puppet who he sees as real. He carries it everywhere, and it talks in such a stereotypical gangster-black voice and says such mean and racy things to everybody. In reality, Robbie is the shy, kind-of-dorky, kind-of-nerdy character, and the puppet is pointless.
I can't stand how in about 70% of all scene transitions, Tori does something like a Facebook status posting from her phone (they call it SlapFace in the show, something ELSE stolen from iCarly)… It's totally unnecessary. They spend about 3 total minutes of their 22-24 minute time slot to have Tori slowly type out her message to the viewers and then "UPDATING…" and turn it over for another 15 seconds so we can read it clearly. It is absolutely pointless.
The laugh track is abnormally loud and obnoxious. Someone could say "Hi" and the laugh track bursts into laughter. Someone could stub their toe and the laugh track gasps. A character could say, "You're in trouble" and the laugh track mumbles like a little child saying, "You're in trouble…" It laughs at everything, funny or not, and what's sad is that the writers probably think that half the stuff is funny. For one thing, we don't need to be told how to laugh and what to laugh at; we all have our individual tastes in humor and can laugh accordingly at what's funny, thank you very much. For the second thing, about 5% of what the laugh track laughs at is actually a joke. For the third thing, about 2% of what it laughs at is actually remotely funny, worthy of a smile or a forced chuckle. For the fourth thing, about 50% of that 2% of remotely funny stuff is actually kind of offensive (like when Kat asks a question [with an obvious YES answer] like, "Are we doing a parade?", and Jade responds, "No, we're having kidney replacement surgery." That kind of stuff is potentially offensive. They could at least get a real joke…)
Overall, this is a show I don't recommend. Sorry you had to read so much. But those are my two cents.