Viper Season 2 Episode 8

Allie: Looks like an ordinary wristwatch.
Frankie: Yeah, looks like something my Uncle Vito tried to pawn off on my once.
Allie: Yeah, well I don't think your Uncle Vito ever had a wristwatch that could scan fingerprints and feed the data back into my main computer.

Vince: You don't work blue, do you? No smutty stuff in my club.
Frankie: No, no, I wouldn't wanna offend these comedy police attached to your side here (gestures to Vince's bodyguards)
Vince: Hey, that's why I pay them the medium bucks.
Frankie: Yeah, well medium's good, especially for two guys sharing a brain!
Vince: Careful, pal, they may not know how to spell 'vertebrae' but they know how to break 'em.
Frankie: So they're not completely talentless. That's good.

Cole: (about the kettle Sami is brandishing) Drop the weapon.
Sami: Oh, it doesn't look very funny right now, but I'm a professional comedian; and I guarantee in about a week you'll be laughing about this little incident.
Cole: Yeah, I'm splitting a gut.

Sami: My friend Irma is so dumb, she thinks the Gettysburg Address is….
Ben: Where Abraham Lincoln left his hat.
Sami: Not bad. Maybe you should write all my material.
Ben: You couldn't afford me.

Sami: Last time I was this scrunched up in a car, I was in the backseat with your father. I think that's how I ended up with you.
Ben: Mom!
Sami: Actually, that's how I ended up with your father but that's a whole 'nother story.

Sami: I can't do this.
Cole: You have to do this.
Sami: If Vince Metcalf had that Fed killed, what's to stop him from doing the same thing to me or Ben?
Cole: I'll tell you what's stop him – your testimony, putting him behind bars for the rest of his life.

Sami: (about her son, Ben) That kid is the only decent thing I ever did in my whole life.