Warehouse 13 Season 1 Episode 10

Artie: Myka, one day will you know all answers to all questions. Just not today.

Claudia: What else? Okay, "repair auto-vac." Slice-o-pie. "Tighten and lubricate zip line." Sounds kind of kinky when you say it like that.

Myka: So if it isn't Mrs. Frederic, who's getting those reports?
Pete: I don't know. Mr. Frederic? Claudia! I brought doughnuts. (looks guilty) Doughnut.

Myka: I just hope she's okay, you know?
Pete: Claudia's like bamboo. You can bend her all you want, but she'll never break.

Myka: "Baylor Dodgeball. Used for military dexterity and agility training. Multiples upon contact." That we already know. "Acquired after the... bludgeoning deaths of five cadets in 1972."
Pete: Uh, uh, bludgeoning is b-bad.
Myka: Agreed, Agreed.

Theadora: Hi, there, welcome to Ted's. I'm Theadora, but everyone calls me "Ted." Party of one?
Artie: (about Mrs. Frederic) No, no, I'm meeting that woman right over there and it's rarely a party.

Artie: You really expect me to believe that...?
Valda: What exactly were you expecting, Mr. Nielsen? Hooded cloaked figures standing in half-light around a perpetually burning flame?
Regent Archer: He's seen too many movies.
Artie: I... You know, I just would have thought that... this waitress is a Regent?
Valda: John Adams was a farmer. Abraham Lincoln was a small-town lawyer. Plato, Socrates were teachers. Jesus was a carpenter. To equate judgment and wisdom with occupation is at best... insulting.

Myka: We need to get back to the office.
Claudia: Oh, no need. "What are you doing wasting time installing backup terminals in the aisles, foolish red-haired girl?" Because you never know when you might need one, Artie.

Claudia: Okay, looks like the problem is in the gooery.
Pete: What's a gooery?
Myka: I'm guessing it's Claudia-speak for the neutralizer processor center.
Claudia: Uh-huh.
Pete: Right, of course.
Myka: Well, it's chapter 197 in the manual.
Pete: It's a thousand pages long. I'll wait for the movie.

Pete: Okay, fine, but you stick close, and you do exactly as we say.
Claudia: All right. Suicide mission with the team. Kind of exciting. I'm excited! Come on.

Claudia: It's sealed with an Omega level security code.
Myka: Can you hack it?
Claudia: Pope, Catholic, bear, woods. You know the drill.

Artie: So am I fired?
Mrs. Frederic: Worse. They want you to stay. Bering and Lattimer are not the best agents we've ever had. You are.
Artie: They said that?
Mrs. Frederic: It was said. And they were smart enough to believe me.
Artie: Oh. Thanks.
Mrs. Frederic: Simply the facts.

Myka: You're good. No, you're really good. You'll be fine.
Claudia: Thanks. Hey, um, you know, if you're not busy later, maybe you could show me how to do that ka-cha kick thing? 'Cause, like I tried it on the light switch and I think I broke my toe. And I know I broke the light switch.