Warehouse 13 Season 2 Episode 13

Claudia: I got you something very special, and I think you're gonna like it.
Artie: Why?
Claudia: It's called a present. You're familiar with presents, right? We Earthlings exchange them as a sign of affection and gratitude.

Claudia: Poor Artie. It must be exhausting to be that grouchy without even time off for the holidays.
Joshua: You think he was like that as a kid?
Claudia: Whoa. I've never actually pictured Artie as a child. It's disturbing.
Joshua: Yeah, it is.

Myka: Artie, is it, is it possible that...?
Artie: That yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus?
Pete: The dude enters and exits through chimneys! He travels across the room as fairy dust. Look, Artie, this was the real Santa, okay? Oh, and by the way, be nice because Santa is badass.
Artie: There really was a St. Nicholas in Fourth Century Turkey and he was known to have put coins in people's shoes.
Pete: Real Santa! Excellent! You know, I knew it. Seriously, it explains so much.
Myka: You're making a Christmas list in your head right now, aren't you?
Pete: Maybe.

Artie: Where have you been?
Claudia: Oh, you missed me.
Artie: I was worried.
Claudia: Same thing.
Artie: No, it's not. There'd be paperwork.

Isadore: (about Claudia) She's not yours, is she?
Artie: No, God no! No, no, no. She wasn't even born of man. She noodged her way into existence!
Isadore: That's very good. Noodged!