Welcome Back, Kotter Season 1 Episode 15

Vinnie: I got my own idea of what God is like: I know he's a sharp dresser, and he's good-looking, and of course he's Italian.
Freddie: Yeah? Well, if you ask me, all that stuff about harps is a lot of jive. God is backed up by a jazz rhythm section. He got a piano, a bass guitar, and a drummer with a good right foot.

Vernajean: God can do anything.
Freddy: He can?
Vernajean: She can.

(Arnold freaks out because the lights are out)
Arnold: I would have been okay if I had my teddy.
Gabe: Well, you can't have your teddy.
Arnold: Then how about have Mrs. Kotter?
Gabe: You can't have my teddy, either.

(on the realization that they won't be eating until the sit-in is over)
Gabe: It's not that hard. People have gone without food for days.
Vinnie: And died right after!

Kotter: I'm warning you, Mr. Woodman, we are committed!
Mr. Woodman: Well, if you aren't committed, Kotter, you oughta be! Ha, ha! I am really becoming a funny guy!

Kotter: It didn't stop Bonzo Moretti. Who, you ask, was Bonzo Moretti?
Horshack: No, I don't ask
that... do you ask that?

Gabe: Hello, Arnold. Haven't you noticed you're wearing a green plastic bag?
Arnold: I'm disguised as a green bean.
Gabe: (in deep voice) Ho, ho, ho...and how are things in the valley, Little Sprout?
Arnold: (in high-pitched voice) Fine and dandy, Jolly Green Giant! How's your niblets?

Gabe: Mr. Woodman, let me handle this, okay?
Woodman: Well, you'd better, Kotter, because if you don't, I won't even let you collect unemployment. I'll tell them you never worked here!