Jessica Simpson: You do what for a living?!
Narrator: And things heated up as the stakes grew higher than ever...
Mark L. Walberg: You may choose to keep your current job, but if you do...
Narrator: Tonight, one contestant will see his dreams shattered, while another will have all her dreams come true. Tonight, on WML?
(tawdry theme plays)
Mark: Hello, I'm Mark L. Walberg and welcome to WML? Let's meet our first contestant. She's 24, she's from L.A., and she... well, I can't tell you what she does just yet. But let's welcome Tameeka! (loud applause, but also some boos and hisses) And now, let's meet our panel -- Jessica Simpson, Eva Langoria, Jeff Probst, and Drew Carey! (loud jeers and catcalls) And now, Tameeka, let's reveal to the crowd and our audience at home exactly what your racket is:
PEDDLES SUSPECT TRINKETS ON EBAY
Panel, we can reveal to you now that Tameeka is self-employed and deals in products. And let's begin the questioning, with oh, Drew Carey...
Drew: Tameeka, you look fine. Might I enjoy your product?
Tameeka: I think you'd love it!
Jessica: Is it a useful product?
Mark: Well, there are some that might find it useful, I suppose, maybe... Eva? Eva: Is it short or is it long?
Mark: That's not a yes-or-no question! BUZZZZZ! (He hits a button, triggering a vat of slime to fall all over Eva.) Next!
Jeff: Could the women on this panel use this as much as the men?
Tameeka: Ooh, yes baby! I dare say they'd even survive!
Mark: Moving on... Drew?
Drew: Too hot for me! I pass.
Jessica: Would I come to you to get this product?
Mark: In a manner of speaking.
Jessica: Why don't you let her answer? She can speak for herself, she doesn't need a man!
Mark: Oh yeah! Well, she sells stuff on eBay! How 'bout that?! I spoiled it! (Hits big button and dumps slime on all the panelists.) Here, lady, take your $50 and go! (Tosses a 50 at her and hits another button, sending her through a trapdoor like on his old GSN show "Russian Roulette.")
And this, folks, is why we don't need to see the show revived.
Edited 3 total times.