What's My Line? Forums

CBS (ended 1967)

If What's My Line? Were Revived Today...

  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [1]Feb 6, 2008
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    Overly-Serious Narrator: Previously on WML?... accusations flew as the lines ran wild...
    Jessica Simpson: You do what for a living?!
    Narrator: And things heated up as the stakes grew higher than ever...
    Mark L. Walberg: You may choose to keep your current job, but if you do...
    Narrator: Tonight, one contestant will see his dreams shattered, while another will have all her dreams come true. Tonight, on WML?

    (tawdry theme plays)
    Mark: Hello, I'm Mark L. Walberg and welcome to WML? Let's meet our first contestant. She's 24, she's from L.A., and she... well, I can't tell you what she does just yet. But let's welcome Tameeka! (loud applause, but also some boos and hisses) And now, let's meet our panel -- Jessica Simpson, Eva Langoria, Jeff Probst, and Drew Carey! (loud jeers and catcalls) And now, Tameeka, let's reveal to the crowd and our audience at home exactly what your racket is:

    PEDDLES SUSPECT TRINKETS ON EBAY

    Panel, we can reveal to you now that Tameeka is self-employed and deals in products. And let's begin the questioning, with oh, Drew Carey...
    Drew: Tameeka, you look fine. Might I enjoy your product?
    Tameeka: I think you'd love it!
    Mark: Jessica?
    Jessica: Is it a useful product?
    Mark: Well, there are some that might find it useful, I suppose, maybe... Eva? Eva: Is it short or is it long?
    Mark: That's not a yes-or-no question! BUZZZZZ! (He hits a button, triggering a vat of slime to fall all over Eva.) Next!
    Jeff: Could the women on this panel use this as much as the men?
    Tameeka: Ooh, yes baby! I dare say they'd even survive!
    Mark: Moving on... Drew?
    Drew: Too hot for me! I pass.
    Mark: Jessica?
    Jessica: Would I come to you to get this product?
    Mark: In a manner of speaking.
    Jessica: Why don't you let her answer? She can speak for herself, she doesn't need a man!
    Mark: Oh yeah! Well, she sells stuff on eBay! How 'bout that?! I spoiled it! (Hits big button and dumps slime on all the panelists.) Here, lady, take your $50 and go! (Tosses a 50 at her and hits another button, sending her through a trapdoor like on his old GSN show "Russian Roulette.")

    And this, folks, is why we don't need to see the show revived.
    Edited on 02/07/2008 4:48am
    Edited 3 total times.
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  • Avatar of stopettearoma

    stopettearoma

    [2]Feb 6, 2008
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    I suspect you may not live near Los Angeles, and you might be unable to visit there. Because I live there, I can tell you that the "What's My Line Live On Stage" really sucks, and it has a zero chance of getting picked up by the most obscure cable channel.

    The night I went Peter Falk was the mystery guest. That segment was helpful for entertainment reporters, but you need more than a mystery guest to deliver what you promise. The show is supposed to live up to its title, which is "What's My Line?", not "What's My Name?"

    During the segments with ordinary people at "Live On Stage" in 2007, the producer / director allowed one female panelist to hold her little dog the entire time. And one of the contestants turned out to be a saleslady of snacks for dogs. Obviously, somebody behind the scenes booked that contestant knowing the panelist would bring her dog onstage. That behind the scenes person should know that that very silliness ruined the syndicated "Line" in 1973 and 1974. Larry Blyden was silly enough whenever he talked, and then the producers sat him next to pie throwers and, on the very last episode, a used car salesman who insisted on throwing his business cards all over the place, literally. Then Blyden introduced the mystery guest, who turned out to be JoAnne Worley three years after she quit "Laugh In." Wonderful.

    While Peter Falk may be interesting, he's old. Why can't "Live On Stage" book Tom Anderson (founder of Myspace), Anderson Cooper or Maggie Gyllenhaal ? A dearth of young, relevant people was also a factor in the decline and fall of the syndicated "Line" in 1973 and 1974. You never saw the really hot young people in those years on the show. Where were Erica Jong, Ron Ziegler, Carly Simon, Elton John and Maria Schneider ? Instead you saw mystery guests like JoAnne Worley and Rita Moreno, and Rita did not mention "The Electric Company" during her post - game interview with Blyden. Bad move.

    When the "What's My Line?" moderator, who is supposed to be dour and talkative, says the person next to me could do anything for a living or could be anybody, that has to be the truth. The person seated next to Larry Blyden or J. Keith van Straaten is either selling frivolous junk (like snacks for dogs) or he/she is a retired senior talking about what he did many years ago. So he/she cannot do anything and cannot be anybody. When the moderator lies, audience members go home and tell people the show (correct word) sucks.

    Edited on 02/06/2008 9:10am
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [3]Feb 6, 2008
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    :
    I suspect you may not live near Los Angeles, and you might be unable to visit there.

    I live in Ohio, which is about as far away from L.A. as you can get in the continental U.S., short of the east coast.

    :
    Because I live there, I can tell you that the "What's My Line Live On Stage" really sucks, and it has a zero chance of getting picked up by the most obscure cable channel. The night I went Peter Falk was the mystery guest. That segment was helpful for entertainment reporters, but you need more than a mystery guest to deliver what you promise. The show is supposed to live up to its title, which is "What's My Line?", not "What's My Name?"

    Heh! I laughed heavily.

    :
    During the segments with ordinary people at "Live On Stage" in 2007, the producer / director allowed one female panelist to hold her little dog the entire time. And one of the contestants turned out to be a saleslady of snacks for dogs. Obviously, somebody behind the scenes booked that contestant knowing the panelist would bring her dog onstage. That behind the scenes person should know that that very silliness ruined the syndicated "Line" in 1973 and 1974. Larry Blyden was silly enough whenever he talked, and then the producers sat him next to pie throwers and, on the very last episode, a used car salesman who insisted on throwing his business cards all over the place, literally. Then Blyden introduced the mystery guest, who turned out to be JoAnne Worley three years after she quit "Laugh In." Wonderful.

    Yeah, I saw some of GSN's airings of the syndicated WML? and it could be interesting at times, but it was totally lame when they had on the gimmick contestants and the people peddling obscure and suspect products.

    :
    While Peter Falk may be interesting, he's old. Why can't "Live On Stage" book Tom Anderson (founder of Myspace)

    Please no. I loathe MySpace.

    :
    Anderson Cooper

    Now that would be awesome.

    :
    or Maggie Gyllenhaal ?

    Haven't heard of her.

    :
    Where were Erica Jong, Ron Ziegler, Carly Simon, Elton John and Maria Schneider ?

    Yeah, some of those would have been pretty neat choices.

    :
    nstead you saw mystery guests like JoAnne Worley and Rita Moreno, and Rita did not mention "The Electric Company" during her post - game interview with Blyden. Bad move.

    Very bad indeed, "Electric Company" is remembered as a true classic today.

    :
    The person seated next to Larry Blyden or J. Keith van Straaten is either selling frivolous junk (like snacks for dogs) or he/she is a retired senior talking about what he did many years ago.

    Now, now, you young whippersnapper, the elderly have much to teach us. Didn't your parents teach you to respect your elders? A little less of that now.

    :
    So he/she cannot do anything and cannot be anybody. When the moderator lies, audience members go home and tell people the show (correct word) sucks.

    As they rightly should.
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  • Avatar of stopettearoma

    stopettearoma

    [4]Feb 6, 2008
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    ** I live in Ohio, which is about as far away from L.A. as you can get in the continental U.S., short of the east coast. **

    Yet Ohioans always have been known for their curiosity about faraway places and for their travel reservations. Dorothy Kilgallen had a friend who was the film / theater critic for a newspaper in Columbus, Ohio. They saw each other in New York many times during the last year-and-a-half of her life. He wrote many columns, which could be read only in Columbus, about the latest Broadway openings. That would seem strange in other parts of the United States where people don't get curious about events they can't see. People in South Carolina and Florida are not so quick at thinking, "I can see that entertainment if I travel 700 miles, so I should be curious."

    ** Now, now, you young whippersnapper, the elderly have much to teach us. Didn't your parents teach you to respect your elders? A little less of that now. **

    Didn't your parents watch the Ed Sullivan Show and / or the Hollywood Palace ? They balanced age demographics on almost every broadcast. On the night the Beatles first played Sullivan, another act was the Broadway cast of "Oliver" singing "Consider Yourself." "Oliver" had little impact on young people until the movie version came out four years later.

    Didn't your parents watch "The Dick Cavett Show?" Robert Young appeared on it to plug his new "Marcus Welby, M.D.", and he had to interact with Jimi Hendrix, who jammed with his guitar and talked about his illegal version of "Star Spangled Banner." Young looked uncomfortable with Hendrix.

    So ... why couldn't Goodson Todman book Al Pacino to sit next to Larry Blyden ? Why did JoAnne Worley sit there four different times or something like that ? And why are Noah Wyle and Andy Dick the only people under 50 who have sat next to J. Keith van Straaten ? If Ed Sullivan were here to comment, he would tell people to mix young with old. Never ignore young people. They are the ones who will take care of you and run the United States when you are really old, like, 90 years old.

    Edited on 02/06/2008 4:55pm
    Edited 7 total times.
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  • Avatar of astorino

    astorino

    [5]Feb 6, 2008
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    agent_0042 wrote:
    And this, folks, is why we don't need to see the show revived.

    I think you've made some valid points! Thanks for the funny scenario!

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  • Avatar of astorino

    astorino

    [6]Feb 6, 2008
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    stopettearoma wrote:
    During the segments with ordinary people at "Live On Stage" in 2007, the producer / director allowed one female panelist to hold her little dog the entire time.

    As long as this thread is going to the dogs... ...on EPISODE #254 of April 17, 1955, Ice skater Barbara Ann Scott also appeared with a pooch -- her French poodle named Pierre. She carried him in and he sat in her lap during her game.

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  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [7]Feb 7, 2008
    • member since: 04/24/05
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    Some of the spacing and formatting on the original post got corrupted. I don't know how, but I edited it. It should be okay now.

    :
    Yet Ohioans always have been known for their curiosity about faraway places and for their travel reservations.

    Oh, tell me about it. I see Ohio-related jokes on TV every so often. On one show I watched, the main character had cousins coming for a visit from Ohio. The main character says all his relatives are coming from Ohio, and his friends are all, "Ooh, Ohio." Later, one of them asks "Where's Ohio?"

    :
    People in South Carolina and Florida are not so quick at thinking, "I can see that entertainment if I travel 700 miles, so I should be curious."

    Well, if you say so. Personally, there are a plenty of types of entertainment I know I can get in Ohio, but I do admit to a certain curiosity regarding entertainment that is available only in places like L.A. And would love to see it sometime. Particularly any attractions related to, oh... "Star Trek."

    :
    Didn't your parents watch the Ed Sullivan Show and / or the Hollywood Palace ? They balanced age demographics on almost every broadcast. On the night the Beatles first played Sullivan, another act was the Broadway cast of "Oliver" singing "Consider Yourself." "Oliver" had little impact on young people until the movie version came out four years later.

    Didn't your parents watch "The Dick Cavett Show?" Robert Young appeared on it to plug his new "Marcus Welby, M.D.", and he had to interact with Jimi Hendrix, who jammed with his guitar and talked about his illegal version of "Star Spangled Banner." Young looked uncomfortable with Hendrix.

    ROTFL. I was joking, as indicated by the in my post.

    :


    ** I live in Ohio, which is about as far away from L.A. as you can get in the continental U.S., short of the east coast. **

    Yet Ohioans always have been known for their curiosity about faraway places and for their travel reservations. Dorothy Kilgallen had a friend who was the film / theater critic for a newspaper in Columbus, Ohio. They saw each other in New York many times during the last year-and-a-half of her life. He wrote many columns, which could be read only in Columbus, about the latest Broadway openings. That would seem strange in other parts of the United States where people don't get curious about events they can't see. People in South Carolina and Florida are not so quick at thinking, "I can see that entertainment if I travel 700 miles, so I should be curious."

    ** Now, now, you young whippersnapper, the elderly have much to teach us. Didn't your parents teach you to respect your elders? A little less of that now. **

    Didn't your parents watch the Ed Sullivan Show and / or the Hollywood Palace ? They balanced age demographics on almost every broadcast. On the night the Beatles first played Sullivan, another act was the Broadway cast of "Oliver" singing "Consider Yourself." "Oliver" had little impact on young people until the movie version came out four years later.

    Didn't your parents watch "The Dick Cavett Show?" Robert Young appeared on it to plug his new "Marcus Welby, M.D.", and he had to interact with Jimi Hendrix, who jammed with his guitar and talked about his illegal version of "Star Spangled Banner." Young looked uncomfortable with Hendrix.

    So ... why couldn't Goodson Todman book Al Pacino to sit next to Larry Blyden ? Why did JoAnne Worley sit there four different times or something like that ? And why are Noah Wyle and Andy Dick the only people under 50 who have sat next to J. Keith van Straaten ? If Ed Sullivan were here to comment, he would tell people to mix young with old. Never ignore young people. They are the ones who will take care of you and run the United States when you are really old, like, 90 years old.

    Far enough. I think some Harry Potter wisdom could also apply here. Albus Dumbledore's -- "Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young."

    :
    As long as this thread is going to the dogs... ...on EPISODE #254 of April 17, 1955, Ice skater Barbara Ann Scott also appeared with a pooch -- her French poodle named Pierre. She carried him in and he sat in her lap during her game.

    Heh! So it would seem even the original wasn't above having contestants bring their cute little pets on stage.
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  • Avatar of stopettearoma

    stopettearoma

    [8]Feb 7, 2008
    • member since: 11/23/06
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    That 1955 poodle appearance was an isolated incident from the 17 - year run of the CBS series. Other episodes featured serious political / cultural figures like "Scoop" Jackson, a prominent United States senator, Henry Cabot Lodge, Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandburg. If you have children who ever have to do term papers, please tell them not to do a term paper on Barbara Ann Scott. Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandburg, on the other hand, can get your kid a scholarship and a college education. Don't throw your whole life away on a TV series that took up 30 minutes per week of a person's time. At least that's how CBS intended it. It was supposed to be part of the dessert of life. American literature is meat and potatoes, and life requires you to eat meat and potatoes ... or else !

    Edited on 02/08/2008 3:36am
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [9]Feb 7, 2008
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    stopette -- like John Daly, we don't always understand completely a lot of what you're saying; but we love you nonetheless!
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  • Avatar of stopettearoma

    stopettearoma

    [10]Feb 8, 2008
    • member since: 11/23/06
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    agent_0042 wrote:
    stopette -- like John Daly, we don't always understand completely a lot of what you're saying; but we love you nonetheless!

    I don't understand this non sequitur of yours.

    Oh, tell me about it. I see Ohio-related jokes on TV every so often. On one show I watched, the main character had cousins coming for a visit from Ohio. The main character says all his relatives are coming from Ohio, and his friends are all, "Ooh, Ohio." Later, one of them asks "Where's Ohio?"

    I never said people in California hate or snub Ohioans. On the contrary, network executives know Ohioans watch a lot of TV shows that last an hour or less. American Idol lasts one hour minus commercials. Movies, books and magazines don't have commercials. Advertisers in Los Angeles like people whose attention span fades after one hour minus commercials.

    I never said anything bad about Ohioans. What I said in my last message was that Ohioans are inordinately curious about what's happening far away, be it Iraq, Afghanistan, CBS Television City or the David Letterman studio in New York. If Ohio has a governor, he / she is a lot less important than Wayne Grigsby or Arnold Schwarzenegger or the CEO of Fremantle Media.

    As I said in my last message, Dorothy Kilgallen had a friend -- another newspaper columnist -- named Ron Pataky. Writing for the Columbus Citizen Journal, Ron used to devote entire columns to the newest Broadway shows even though his readers lived almost a thousand miles from Broadway.

    Can you explain all of this ? When you're in Ohio, is there a "here ?" Is Baghdad "here" for recent high school graduates ? If you're over 40 in Ohio, do you consider "here" to be the headquarters of Fremantle Media, which are not anywhere near Los Angeles ? Do you just assume all the good entertainment comes from Hollywood and Broadway the way Dorothy's friend Ron assumed that so long ago ? Maybe the jazz scene in Columbus does not exist because it is not "here." Ron wrote about the jazz in his neighborhood maybe once every other month, but he gave his readers the latest news from Broadway and Hollywood every day. Columbus jazz never gets on nationwide television. Our boys in Iraq and Afghanistan never see it. That means it's just not here. If you are in Ohio, where is here ?

    Edited on 02/26/2008 9:09am
    Edited 3 total times.
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  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [11]Feb 8, 2008
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    :
    I don't understand this non sequitur of yours.

    It's a reference to Bennett Cerf's constant ribbing of John Daly for being long-winded. Your posts have a tendency to be, well, long-winded.

    :
    I never said people in California hate or snub Ohioans.

    Nor did I, the reference in question was to a program that originated from Boston and Canada.

    :
    On the contrary, network executives know Ohioans watch a lot of TV shows that last an hour or less. American Idol lasts one hour minus commercials.. Attention Defecit Disorder ? This causes Ohioans to miss a lot of movies, books and magazines. But those things don't have commercials.

    Oh, really? Which movies, books and magazines in particular?

    :
    Can you explain all of this ? When you're in Ohio, is there a "here ?" Is Baghdad "here" for recent high school graduates ? If you're over 40 in Ohio, do you consider "here" to be the headquarters of Fremantle Media, which are not anywhere near Los Angeles. Do you just assume all the good entertainment comes from Hollywood and Broadway the way Dorothy's friend Ron assumed that so long ago ? Maybe the jazz scene in Columbus does not exist because it is not "here." Ron wrote about the jazz in his neighborhood maybe once every other month, but he gave his readers the latest news from Broadway and Hollywood every day. Columbus jazz never gets on nationwide television. Our boys in Iraq and Afghanistan never see it. That means it's just not here. If you are in Ohio, where is here ?

    Erm, I believe "here" is wherever you are currently, unless you're operating under some strange definition of the word "here" I'm not currently aware of. "There," of course, being wherever you aren't.
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  • Avatar of stopettearoma

    stopettearoma

    [12]Feb 8, 2008
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    - Nor did I, the reference in question was to a program that originated from Boston and Canada. -

    And both of those places are far away from Ohio. If you Ohioans are so observant about what's on basic cable channels, why not launch a TV series that is filmed in your state or it takes place in your state ? Even WKRP In Cincinnati included little about Cincinnati. All the music played by the radio station came from far away, as did the Jerry Falwell - inspired character who tried to ban certain lyrics. That didn't bother Ohioans because they never want people in Boston, Canada, Hollywood or another distant land to understand Ohio. They want the TV shows to get all the attention. And their "friends" who work on the shows are more important than John Glenn, who went into outer space twice.

    - Oh, really? Which movies, books and magazines in particular? -

    Norman Mailer's 1955 book "The Deer Park" includes a character obviously inspired by Dorothy Kilgallen.

    Gertrude Stein devotes a page of one of her books to Bennett Cerf. She liked him, and she did not live to see "What's My Line?" She was alive when he appeared on other quiz shows in the 1940s.

    A biography of William Faulkner says Bennett attended Faulkner's funeral in Mississippi in 1962. Several of the mourners talked to him, and their comments are there.

    The 1959 movie "It Happened To Jane" includes a scene from "I've Got A Secret" suggesting that Jane, the contestant, had to be phony for a few minutes while she was on the air. The studio telephone rings with a call from Ernie Kovacs' character, and it gets on the air.

    The 1973 movie "The Last Detail" shows that some people who are near a TV set are not paying attention to it. The sound can be turned up loud with Larry Blyden's voice blaring and Arlene's voice blaring, as it is during a scene in this movie, but that doesn't mean people are paying attention. One character in the room has been sentenced to a jail term for stealing a few dollars from a charity collection.

    Edited on 02/10/2008 4:53pm
    Edited 9 total times.
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  • Avatar of ymike673

    ymike673

    [13]Feb 8, 2008
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    WKRP devoted an entire episode to the tragedy that occured at a Cincinnati Rock Concert. But then how would you know. You have probably never seen an episode of WKRP. You just like to rant against any intelligent post on this forum.!
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    tmoore952

    [15]Feb 9, 2008
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    My input to this thread is to say that Larry Blyden was unfortunate to host the syndicated WML from 1972-1975, which had some nutty guests as was pointed out in other posts in this thread. I read in a Arlene Francis autobiography that she was less than enamored with the syndicated version. At least Blyden did have the good fortune to be a occasional panelist in the last years of the original show hosted by John Daly --- it is a shame that the syndicated version stooped so low, and it also a shame that Blyden lost his life so soon after the syndicated version ended.
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  • Avatar of agent_0042

    agent_0042

    [17]Feb 17, 2008
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    Yeah, the syndicated version is also covered in the Fates book. It definitely isn't nearly as popular as the original, but Fates gives it fair time in the book, perhaps more than fair time.
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